What do you look for in patterns?

[CheeseOwl]

Hello! New to the site, but this seems to be a good place to throw this question out.

I'm one of those horrible crafters that doesn't follow a pattern for pretty much anything, not because I can't read them, I just find them boring, or not quite what I want, or what have you. I tend to make my own patterns, and at this point I have quite a few, some of them written down even! What I'd like to do is publish a few of those patterns but, well I've sort of shot myself in the foot, I don't know what people look for in patterns! I don't know what's too much explanation, and what's not enough? How many pictures? Is the text laid out correctly? Do I really have to have three pages of needless background/story for the pattern? How the heck do I calculate different sizes and yardage without making a test piece of each size? How important is it to have recommended yarn, or is a general size of yarn/needle(or hook) and swatch size fine?

What makes a good pattern for you personally, especially if it's in pdf form?