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Topic: Gift for adoptive parents to be?  (Read 2075 times)
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Fredrick VonHugleburg
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« on: June 30, 2005 02:22:33 PM »

I'm almost 8 months pregnant, and I'm going to meet the couple that I chose to adopt my baby out to, for the first time in a couple of weeks, and ideally, I'd like to find some attractive way of presenting the sonagrams for them, and maybe make something else to go along with it.

The only things I could come up with was a collage of all the sonagrams with.. "Congratulations.. you're going to be the proud parents of a .. little gray squiggle." on it..

but.. I dunno.. I guess I wish I could come up with something a little classier. Any suggestions are a big help! thanks!

The earth, stained with the blood of a thousand dying soldiers, weeps as she welcomes them home.

« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2005 12:05:12 AM »

       I think crafting is superfluous at this point, considering you're already making them a person.  (well done!)  But I've found a copy of Jamie Lee Curtis' Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born is always a thoughtful and appreciated gift.
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2005 05:57:59 AM »

The sonogram is a lovely gift.  One more thing that will be useful to your baby and their parents is lots of family history.  You've probably already filled out forms on medical history, but for my adopted niece, her parents often wonder if various traits or characteristics have a genetic basis.

So you could put together a little booklet to tell more.  For baby's biological mom and dad, grandparents, anuts and uncles, and siblings, tell about their height, coloring, body type; what color eyes? hair?  Does anyone have a distinctive nose or ears?  Who needed braces - or should have had them?  Did anyone have particular struggles or successes in school? What do they do for a living?

Are there traits that seem to be part of your family?  The Jones temper?  The Smith love of music?  Anything at all that seems to be part of your babies biological legacy can be included.  In many adoptions, the biological father is pretty much a mystery.  So include whatever you know about him and his family too. 

And, as has been said, you're already giving them the best gift of their lives.  And you're giving your baby the gift of a family that can give a baby love and stability.


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Fredrick VonHugleburg
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« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2005 04:10:04 PM »

thank you both Smiley

I guess I was just hoping to put together something just small and nice not only for them, but for later on so the baby can see where they came from..

I know it's not erally necessary, but I still feel this urge to give them something beforehand. I realize that giving them a baby is something huge and wonderful, but they're doing something that I will always be thankful for, and I guess this is my way of saying thank you.

The earth, stained with the blood of a thousand dying soldiers, weeps as she welcomes them home.

Princess Sara
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2005 04:18:12 PM »

What about making them mom and dad frames and putting a sonogram in each one so they can have it on their desks or whatever.  I think they would appreciate the sonograms and further acknowledgment that they are going to be mom and dad to that squiggle.
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2005 06:52:07 PM »

I agree with a family history being important. I'm not even adopted and my family knows almost nothing about itself. I'm getting married soon and his family has a family tree going back to 1790, heirlooms items...I'm so jealous.

« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2005 06:11:24 PM »

*great* idea about the family history. the adoptive parents will be able to give the child everything but that, and to be able to do so will likely be greatly relieving to them in the future if the child should want it. some friends of mine are about to adopt an older baby from an institution & i know they wish they could have something personal about the birth mother to share with the child in the future.

things to think about including...

* family name and places (if you are comfortable sharing them), even if it's just back a couple of generations

even if you don't want to share names:
* medical history
* memories that show off the personality traits of your family members or funny little facts about family members (who's left-handed? who loves music?)
* stuff about you: might help to think in terms of preferences, abilities, and best/worst qualities

obviously people seek different levels of emotional contact in adoptive situations. and maybe you do not want to meet the child in the future. but to do this might give your child a better picture of you & your life, & what their biological heritage is. this info (along with the sonograms) could be in the first few pages of a scrapbook for the parents...? another idea would be to write some letters to the child to be given (at the discretion of the birth parents) to him/her at certain ages...? if you don't feel like writing/making something, a tape recording could do the trick, too.

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