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Topic: stepdad with cancer-sentimental gift ideas?  (Read 3802 times)
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« on: June 04, 2005 10:34:50 PM »

my stepfather was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and was able to fight it with chemo this long, but a few days ago the doctors found a large, unoperable tumor, and there is nothing they can do for him.
we aren't even sure if he'll make it to fathers day, but i'd like to do something for him before he goes. obviously, he doesn't need a lot of material possesions, but does anyone have any ideas for something sentimental that i can do for him while he's still with us?
i was thinking maybe a poem or a long letter but i'm not great with words...
« Last Edit: April 26, 2011 10:40:50 AM by alteredmommy » THIS ROCKS   Logged
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2005 08:16:37 AM »

Maybe you could make a small scrapbook of pics of the 2 of you, with journaling of stories of good times you remember with him. You wouldn't have to write a lot, let the pics do a lot of the talking.
I'm very sorry to hear that it's so bad, but it's good that he has a sweet stepdaughter like you!  Embarrassed

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« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2005 05:38:28 AM »

Maybe you could raise money between you, your mom, family and freinds, ect. and donate it to a cancer foundation in his name. I'm really sorry about your stepfather. i was lucky. Mine had cancer, but got through it okay.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2005 05:40:04 AM by nearfatalflaw » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2005 05:49:08 AM »

i think nearfatalflaw's idea is a great one...  I also agree that he sure has a wonderful step-daughter......

« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2005 06:09:19 AM »

i'm very sorry about your step-dad, but he's lucky to have such loving people around him near the end.
i think the scrapbook idea is a good one too, so is donating to charity in his name: maybe you can find a crafty way of raising money for that?

the only other thing I can think of is something to make him more comfortable

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« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2005 08:49:04 AM »

There is a great blog written by a woman trying to deal with her mother's terminal cancer. One thing she did for her mom was to make her hats. She made one that said "Cancer Sucks" and another saying "F*ck Cancer." After her mother passed on, she ended up wearing them as a way to remember of her mother.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2005 08:50:39 AM by obsoletepostergirl » THIS ROCKS   Logged
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2005 09:41:20 AM »

I'm so sorry.
My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer, and she is a tower of strength because of her faith in the Lord. She says that anyone blessed enough to live as long as she has (she's an amazing 83!) can expect their "earth-suit" to start breaking down, and that she is secure in the hands of a mighty and sovereign and loving God, whatever happens. Meanwhile, as she heads for mastectomy surgery on Monday, I've been wrestling with how to make expressions of love and appreciation without expressing pessimism or any negativism as to the outcome.

Words are inadequate, of course, but rather than let that stump me (you said you were "not great with words") try thinking about if, when he's gone (whenever that will be) what you would WISH you could have told him and didn't. Will you regret it? Of course! So, how about some pro-action?!! No time like the present! You may not have long to say those words of love, words of apology, words of appreciation for things he's done and for things he's taught you, and for the man he has been, for memories that you treasure.

 If you can't say those words out loud to him, just jot them down....and give them to him.

Do it now. Please. Don't have any regrets, I'm right there with you, too.
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« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2007 10:01:17 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.. Here's an idea: Why not make a movie with a video camera of all your family saying how much they love him and all the great memories they had? And give him some chocolate. Wink You could also bring him some traditional balloons and flowers.

I know these are two different things, but my grandma recently passed away along with my grandpa. My granma was so nice and she stood up for me when my aunt was being rude to me (wow that sounds weird..) and my grandpa.. well, he was a bit grouchy sometimes, but the last time I got to see him was on my birthday and he got me a gift card to my favorite store for $20 and while my dad and my brother were outside, he showed me some of the really cool things he had kept from the past years and had a nice conversation with me.. I'm beginning to cry just as I type this.. And back to my grandma, she was 83 and had been sick in the hospital many, many times when we thought she would die, but she pulled through.. until one day, she got sick again, and instead of being miserable and uncomfortable in an emergency room, she just stayed at home with her family and died there..

Sorry about my sappy story, but I hope your dad will be okay.. Okay, now I'm crying.. Bye.

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« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2007 11:25:11 PM »

No idea, but your dad is in my thoughts and prayers.

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« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2008 01:05:30 PM »

If he can eat (not sure about the chemo- my mom wouldn't eat much when she was on chemo) you could make him a fancy-pants dinner. With a nice menu of his favorite foods, and table cloths and candles and stuff. You can wait on him with the napkin over your arm and all that.  If you have musician friends you could ask them to play a song (or hire someone out of your local orchestra) between courses, that way your dad receives an experience and not a thing. My cousins and I did this while my grandma was dying in the hospital, but we had to use the hospital food. It was such a nice change of pace for her and she was flattered by how much time we put into it. Take lots of pictures. My heart goes out to you.
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