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Topic: A Dear John Letter to a specific piece of knitting....  (Read 2370 times)
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The Paper Alchemist
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Fueled by the scent of rubber shavings....

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« on: August 10, 2010 08:59:51 PM »

Dear Acrylic Sweater Vest;

I know I've been unfaithful to you.  I've finished 1 scarf, 2 pairs of armwarmers, and have another scarf on the needles.  You know what...you suck.

Everything about you makes me revolted.  You are acrylic.  You make my hands sweat when I knit you.  Your colour borders on the sickening - you are charcoal grey but you knit up into an awful colourway.  You scrunch and scratch when I do try to finish a few rows on you.

You also smell awful.  When I knit with the nice Cascade, I smell lanolin.  You, being made out of Red Heart - you smell odd and I really should work on you when I have a fucking cold.

You are also moss stitch.  Did I ever tell you how much I hate moss stitch?  It's an uninspired stitch pattern, and it's ugly.  It literally makes my skin crawl.

You are also supposed to be easy to finish.  I'd be damned if I actually finish working on you.  My friend who introduced you to me, ended up working on you for a full year including seaming up and finding buttons for you.

I will finish you even if it finishes me.

I'm not a quitter, but you have me close to taking this relationship off the needles and casting on a newer, friendly knit...if you weren't a freaking gift for my mother.

No love,

TLDR:  I cannot stand knitting an ugly stitch pattern in acrylic for a vest for my mother.  I knit only a few rows in a month, when I could have the back piece down by now...if I weren't so unmotivated....

I handcarve stamps, knit and have organic catnip.

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« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2010 07:04:48 AM »

LOL!  Amen to that Sister!  I feel the exact same way about some of the WIP projects I got.    Tongue

Self diagnosis: Obsessive, complusive crafty addict with AD/HD tendancies.

"The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." Demetri Martin

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I have to send it WHEN?!?

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« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2010 11:16:01 PM »

LOL, I think we all have that nightmare project on the side that we can't quite bear to give up completely but loathe working on!  For me it's a lace table cloth.  It uses the tiniest needles and requires extreme concentration so I only do a row at a time.  I figure it'll be done around the year 3000. 
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will work for yarn

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« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2012 03:06:49 PM »

for me it's starting something. husband wants a sweater for christmas. with a sort of "traditional christmassy look" and the fornicating deer chart from ravelry thrown in to confuse and bewilder.

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