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Topic: Yarn Swap: continued info  (Read 12245 times)
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« Reply #100 on: July 13, 2005 11:51:19 AM »

i've just received this PM from rae weeks after several PM's to her & the comment on her blog:

I was traveling and just got home. I wanted to drop you a line to let you know i am not ignoring you, however I don't have time to give this message the reply it deserves at the moment. (A lot of work and such to catch up on first) I will respond more throughly in the next couple days.

Thank you for your patience,

i'll keep everyone posted on what (if anything) she says next
« Reply #101 on: July 15, 2005 12:44:56 PM »

I would like to offer my most sincere apology for my delaying of the box and how poorly I handled the whole situation. I know I dont deserve your forgiveness but I would appreciate it if you could hear me out on this. Its going to be a long one but I think you would all agree I have a lot to cover.

I had planned on sending this communication to you, killerdaisy, directly via PM but since you would likely want to repost it to the board I figured it made the most sense to post it here myself.

First off regarding the most recent communication with killerdaisy. I received her PM and responded as soon as I could. I have been traveling on and off since June 20th and just returned home on a red eye July 11th. I have been playing catch up all week and knew I wouldnt have the time to give my response the time it deserved right away, so I sent you that message to let you know I was not ignoring you. It was not an attempt to put you off or anything of the sort, just want to make sure you knew I got it. I would like to respond to your message quoted below:

Sent to: rae on: June 30, 2005 02:46:51 AM

Hi Rae,
   I know you're active on these boards, even if you're not posting...please respond to either this PM or my email/comment. Not only is your silence rude, but your continued unwillingness to make amends for your swap-box-stealing is downright shameful.

alot of people are really disappointed and we all feel that you owe it to all of us to at least apologize, if not actively work to make things right (ie SEND ON THE BOX)

a whole lot of craftsters are sending bad craft karma your way. what you're doing is very uncool and its really time to clear this all up by giving back the box with its contents.

I want you to know that it was not my intention to avoid you, nor was I trying to convey silence or my unwillingness to make amends. Also I assure you I did not steal the box or its contents. I am sorry for not posting this to the board directly but I did have several PMs months ago with girlfriday explaining the delay sending out the box, and I apologized for my inability to send it out in a reasonable about of time. Again I know I should have handled the communication differently, and I am very sorry for that. I know my lack of posting lends me little credibility, but again I promise you I did not keep the box for myself or its contents.

I know there is nothing I can say that will make it ok, but as I explained to girlfriday in our PMs the first part of this year was horrible for me. I was going through a really rough time in my personal life. I know that it is no excuse, but it was hard for me to just even make it through the day. I hope you will forgive me more not going into the details but it was stuff I didnt even discuss with my close friends, let alone post on a message board. When I signed up for this swap over a year ago, my life was in a very different place, than it was at the beginning of this year. I was in no position to participate in a swap like this and told girlfriday that. If I had it to do over again I would have not done it. (I dont think anyone on the list thought it would take as long as it did) I know the delay in sending the box was not fair to the other swappers, but you have to believe it was not intentional. Again I am very sorry for the delay in sending the box out.

While I do take full responsibility for holding up the box unduly for an inexcusable about of time, I promise I did send the box out. I mailed the box via USPS April 15, 2005. I sent the confirmation number to girlfriday that same day. Below is the delivery confirmation slip. I blurred out the next swappers address because I doubt she wants that made public, but I PMed an unedited version to the organizers. If either of you (killerdaisy and girlfriday) want to PM me your postal address I can mail you the actual document for verification.

When the box went missing, I contacted the post office several times to no avail. I then filed a PS Form 1510 (for missing mail) and received no reply. It has been about 2 months since I filed that form so I don't know if I can expect to hear or find anything else out. I have done everything in my power to try and locate this box, I have no idea what could have happened to it; the label came off, it was stolen, or what, but it must have gone missing prior to being scanned into their tracking system, because they have no record of it.

I know I should have posted this sooner but I kept thinking I would hear something; that they found the package, or something that would help me save this swap. You know how sometimes the more time passes, the harder it is do anything about it? I know my communication on the board was very lacking, and I know I don't deserve forgiveness for it, but it was not intentional. I just had a really rough patch that made it hard to get anything done.

Then when I came to post on the board about the situation as girlfriday suggested, I read all these really mean things, like I had given a fake tracking number, I stole the box, and I should be banned for life! I felt horrible and the last thing I wanted was to make you all think such things. I also was really hurt and felt as thought no one on the list believed me. It was like all the frustration from all the hold ups in the whole swap came to a head and were being solely placed on me. The box had gone missing twice before during the course of the swap and the organizers never even mentioned who it was or what happened, I can understand they must have reached a breaking point of frustration but I really felt unfairly singled out. I am really sorry for the delay and all the trouble I caused. I couldnt bring myself to post something that wouldnt come off sounding defensive or stir up even more drama or hatred in my direction.

So prompted by killerdaisys PM I decided I HAD to get something posted. As I have said several times I am sorry for everything. How long it took me to send the box out, how poorly I handled the communication, etc. I would like to make it up to the rest up the swappers. Since I dont see any way to get back the original swap box I would like to start another box made up entirely of my own stash to send along, if that would be acceptable to the organizers? I dont have a ton but hopefully it will be enough to make it worthwhile.

Just for the record the above quoted PM is the only communication I received directly from killerdaisy. In her recent posts she mentions sending me "several PM's" and commenting on my blog, but I did not receive them. However, for what its worth, I did receive PMs from girlfriday (last one dated in April) and I did reply to those.

Thanks again for your time,
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« Reply #102 on: July 15, 2005 02:59:19 PM »

Thank you for replying to this topic; this was exactly what I was suggesting. See, none of us knew exactly what was going on. I think this is a very helpful explanation.

I'm sorry you feel singled out. It's not so much that I didn't  believe you, but that there was nothing more I could do. (I don't believe I ever said anything particularly bad about you, just that I hadn't heard from you.)


What is love? As far as I can tell, it is passion, admiration and respect. If you have two, you have enough. If you have all three, you don't have to die to go to heaven."
William Wharton
« Reply #103 on: July 16, 2005 11:26:03 AM »

i join girlfriday in thanking you for your reply & for the scanned post office slip, etc

as for the singling out, i feel that the people still in the swap after the often problems had an even greater responsibility to be prompt & communicative precisely because they knew how frustrating things had been & how frustrated all the problems made girlfriday and me. in addition, the length of time between contacts with you elevated things more quickly and indicated to me that it was time to take more drastic action about disappearing swappers (ie naming them).

i cant offer you proof of my PM's to you, rae, so all i can say is that i sent several (3-4) and i posted on your blog & got an automated email indicating that...

at any rate. i suppose this is the end of the ordeal and we should all move on in our knitting and cratftser lives...
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