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Topic: Phallic 40 oz. cozy = NSFW, NSFK  (Read 17349 times)
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Joined: 03-Nov-2005

what doesn't kill us makes us stranger...

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« on: May 31, 2009 07:12:22 PM »

So, now that caveat's out of the way, let me say that the great thing about being a craftster is that your skill set allows you to take a joke way, way too far.

Case in point:
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I made this for a buddy's birthday, at his suggestion.  I don't think he thought I'd actually make it (though if he'd seen my shocker mittens he would have https://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=73948.0).  There was some discussion about the color, but when I saw this yarn that was so blatantly FLESH TONE (no flesh tone found in nature), I was sold.

I'm actually quite proud of the construction. The whole thing is crocheted from the bottom up, then switches to a 2x2 knit rib at the point where the bottle starts to taper. The rib helps snug the cozy up around the bottle. Then there's a series of yarn-overs for the drawstring before switching back to crochet.

The cozy continues in single crochet with gradual increases to form the flared corona of the glans. Then the whole thing is flipped back down and sewn right below the ribbing, after stuffing with a bit of polyfill.

I don't have a shot of the scrotum, but it's basically two crocheted domes that were joined together and continued for a bit before being sewn onto the base of the cozy.  The sweet part is that I stuffed them with two of these, for a more realistic texture:

White drawstring was inserted, a few chain-stitched veins, and voila...

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And, 'cause you know I had to, some reaction and action shots:

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Sorry guys.  Undecided
« Last Edit: June 19, 2009 09:28:46 PM by thebeatcowboy - Reason: Photobucket didn't like some of the images, so I moved them to Flickr to fix the broken links. » THIS ROCKS   Logged
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Never refuse a breathmint.

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« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2009 07:22:52 PM »

nice vein detail  Cheesy  very impressive

« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2009 07:23:31 PM »

Oh.My.GOD. This is the single greatest thing I've ever seen!

Looking for extra sock yarn! PM me if you have any you'd like to get rid of! Willing to swap for it!
My Etsy Shop: http://www.blacksquirrelknits.etsy.com
My Wist: http://wists.com/shortern06
Shortern on Ravelry.
veggie head 4 life
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Chickpeas & peanut butter will feed the world!

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« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2009 07:24:44 PM »


this just made my day

thank you for sharing a good belly laugh

dance through your days........

my fabric-tastic blog

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« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2009 07:30:30 PM »

so today was a totally shitty day...but this just made it so much better bahaha

Proud ARMY brat and NAVY Wife!!! 08/05/08
Hippos are my favorite Smiley
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2009 07:36:44 PM »

So funny and so well thought out and well made.  a classic.

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« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2009 07:38:58 PM »

It's huge! (you don't hear that in real life..bahaha)
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« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2009 07:41:28 PM »

Okay, that's fantastic.  That made everyone in my house (because they all had to see it, once DH did!) crack up laughing, and that was before we saw that there were action shots!  And the construction is just brilliant.

Great job!

Sewers are for ninja turtles--seamstresses are for sewing Wink

My wist!  http://www.wists.com/aislynn
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2009 07:46:03 PM »

That soooooo rocks. Not only is it pleasantly offensive- but great crochet skills dude!
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.glitz and glamour.

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« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2009 07:50:33 PM »

bahhahahaha. the balls are squishy. that is AWESOME! Grin

<3 alyssamae
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