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Topic: stupid Martha Stewart!  (Read 39179 times)
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« on: December 06, 2004 08:54:42 PM »

So I decided to do a spin-off of her valentines day heart-shaped sun-catchers made from wax paper and melted crayon shavings.  I was making light blue snowflakes.  Well the wax melted out of the (folded over to prevent wax melting out the sides) sides.  And the different shades of blue all melted together to make a bland grey.  For the most part its all opaque (as in sun blocker not catcher) even though I only used 3 out of 10 opaque crayons because they had some glitter that I thought would be a nice touch, given the theme and season.  And heres the kicker.. everywhere I cut into the wax paper, the edges start to peel!  half of the stuff didnt even bond to the paper so its peeling in the middle. 

Maybe I used to many shavings?  I dont know.  The whole thing was rather messy with the wax dribbling out of the paper, onto the newspaper it was sandwiched between, and then onto the craft board.  MESSY!
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« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2004 09:32:26 PM »

That's what happened when I tried it! LIAR!

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« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2004 10:15:31 PM »

Yeah, this isn't the first time I've heard of marthacrafts not working.  I followed a couple of her recipes and ended up with:
a) utterly inedible 'eggplant caviar' - yucky!!!
b) a souffle that was delicious, but only 1/2 filled the container it called for (not nearly as impressive that way).

I seriously think she needs more people testing the projects (who aren't afraid to say if there's something wrong).
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2004 10:52:12 PM »

I tried her MF'in stupid as all get out snow votives, where you put your fist in the snow then put a tealight in it and light them...yeah except when you light the freakin tealights they get HOT and MELT the SNOW and FLIP OVER and BURN OUT!!!!!! my walkway looked gorgeous for about 3 seconds and it took me an hour to set it up....damn Martha....
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2004 03:28:11 AM »

Damn her, she got me a few times too, luring me in with her fancy crafts, only to end up with a pile of crap.  Angry
I'm pretty sure that she is setting us up to fail, it's a power thing.

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« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2004 05:27:11 AM »

Yeah! Me and four friends spent 3 hours on a cake from her magazine once, getting all the special ingredients, hand peeling the hazelnuts, blood sacrifices of virgins, whatever. And it was the worst cake I've ever had in my life! Now we all have a running joke about the evening we spent making the bad cake.

I'm glad she's in jail, after that. Smiley

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« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2004 08:15:23 AM »

My mother once made a garlic pasta dish from Martha's magazine ... holy jeebus, it was terrible.  Any vampires within a 100 mile radius must've been dropping like flies.  My mother is an excellent cook, so it wasn't anything that she did wrong -- it had to be the recipe.

« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2004 10:20:49 AM »

Hope I don't get bludgeoned with a sharp pointy object for saying this, but I've never had any trouble with the recipes, instructions, etc. that I've tried.  Then again, maybe I haven't tried as many of those projects as you all.

The main thing I don't like is that joke of a magazine, Everyday Food.  It's supposed to be stuff you can make with what you have on hand.  I don't keep ANY of that stuff in my cupboard. In fact, some of it I've never heard of!  I bought the first issue and didn't make anything out of it.  DH looked through it and said he wouldn't eat any of those recipes if I made them.   Roll Eyes
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« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2004 10:41:40 AM »

Then there's that quilt down in the Embroidery foram.  Those birds look an awful lot like "Aunt Martha's" transfers to me.  Does she think she ownes the name Martha?
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2004 11:13:35 AM »

We won't hurt you vintagechick, in fact I have one of her first books that I bought when I was young and just married and dreamed of a perfect marthaworld..... where was I? Oh yeah, I made a fresh berry sorbet from that book and it was one of the best things I ever tasted.
Does anyone remember that big ass gingerbread mansion she made on TV a few years back? You needed a second mortgage just to buy supplies, sheesh!

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