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Topic: Gift for someone who HATES YOU!?  (Read 5608 times)
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« on: November 29, 2006 02:03:00 PM »

So my friends and I are doing the Secret Santa thing like usual. I was looking forward to it but somehow I managed to pick the name of the one person on the list who doesn't like me AT ALL. There's a whole big long history and I don't want to bore you with it.
But basically, we used to be so close. Then this person changed all of a sudden and randomly started to hate me. And now things between us are so AWKWARD and AWFUL.
And I can't change names.

I really need help. I can't even ask around for what this person wants because we're trying to keep it EXTREMELY secret.
What type of gift would be suitable for someone who hates you?
I'm at a loss here.
ANY suggestions would be lovely.

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« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2006 02:05:46 PM »

I think in the spirit of the season you should make something that you know she would like.  Is there something the two of you both used to enjoy?  Do you know what she's into now?  Maybe it'd be a nice gesture of goodwill.  That's a tough position to be in.  Good luck!  If you give us more ideas about what the person is into I'm sure you'd receive more suggestions!
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« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2006 02:06:43 PM »

I'd simply trade names with someone else.

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« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2006 02:07:54 PM »

Well definitely try to get her something you know she would like...but also...if it is being kept very secret, then shouldn't she not know it's from you? Thus hopefully alleviating some of the stress and anxiety for you! Cheesy

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« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2006 02:10:16 PM »

I don't know what the budget is, but I'd do something generic like a candle, because yo usually can't go wrong, especially if you just want to get it over with as quickly with as little thought as possible.

If you wanted to put more thought it it, to show more kindeness, (not sure what side you on..) Maybe a giftcard to somewhere they'd probably like.

I know how hard this is, I have to get a wedding present for someone I don't care for. -_-  Also a long crappy story. Heh.

Does that help? ._.
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2006 02:13:47 PM »

Wow, I didn't expect so many replies so SOON Smiley
Haha thanks they all helped a bit.

Lemme explain this person a bit more.
(I hope nobody on here knows him).

He's a 16 year old guy. He's gay. He likes indie music but he's in love with Madonna. He's really loves reading books. ANY type of books.

Umm, other than that... we haven't really talked in about a year. And he's changed a lot. I don't have much to go on.
And I can't change names because we all agreed at the beginning to not change names or tell anyone who we picked.

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« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2006 02:17:48 PM »

Yikes, what a situation!  Though it sounds like the friendship is sort of irreparably damaged, this might be a great opportunity to at least make peace and move on. It sounds like things fell apart because of internal issues your friend had and was really nothing to do with you, but this is a chance for you to show that you can still all get along, even if you're not best buds anymore. My advice would be to get/make him something you think he'd really enjoy (but nothing too expensive/time consuming), and write a thoughtful, brief note. I'm not saying that you should try and win him back over (it sounds like he should be trying to win YOU back over),  just something to let him know that whatever is going on with him, you bear him no ill will.

I totally feel for you, and I have so been there before--the death of a friendship is so hard, especially when you used to be so close and you have all of these great memories with the person. Maybe make him something you know you'll have a great time creating? That way, if nothing else, you'll have had your crafty fun Wink
« Last Edit: November 29, 2006 02:21:14 PM by DeadDisco » THIS ROCKS   Logged

« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2006 03:12:32 PM »

Instead of stressing over finding the "perfect" thing, maybe since he likes to read, you could just get a gift certificate to Amazon or a local bookstore? I'm all for spending time on gifting for people that like me.  Grin Just participating in the gift exchange and actually getting a gift for him shows that you are making an effort to be civil.

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« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2006 03:20:36 PM »

I agree. A gift card might be the way to go. Or of you are set on making something, you can maybe quickly silkscreen a momo (madonna for the non-obsessed) t-shirt or something. (I just discovered freezer paper... tres cool) Maybe a Madonna bio book.
Hope it helps.
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« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2006 03:34:45 PM »

a gift card is a nice choice for when youre stuck, like you are now, but honestly i think (depending on the budget), there should be more to the gift than just that. (my friends and i do secret as well, with some people i dont get along with, and i would hate to be the person who got just a gift card, while everyone else got things that suite them. i would kind of get the impression that whoever had me just didnt put much effort into the gift. im not saying its that way with all gift cards, as i otherwise love them, but to come from a person you used to be good friends with would seem a little harsh - but thats just my opinion).

maybe craft up something personalized with lyrics from his favorite indie band, through in something madonna, and a gift card for chapters? all depending on your budget of course. but yeah, id suggest mixing it up a bit. im not sure how you echange gifts, but if you all get together and do it at once, at least consider giving him something that he can enjoy looking at/using right away.

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