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Topic: somewhat caught up in commercialism (a little long)  (Read 9801 times)
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« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2006 03:30:58 AM »

A lot of Brides falls into the materialism of the day.  It's hard not to.  But, luckily, you saw what was happening and corrected it before it got out of hand.  You are a better person for realising it.  Every wedding I have been in/to where the bride got caught up in the materialism of it, the marriage didn't last.  It shows how dedicated you are that you saw that materialism isn't what a wedding is supposed to be about, and crafty, together-y goodness is what it is about.

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« Reply #31 on: October 08, 2006 04:44:55 AM »

I do agree with all of you that it is somewhat easy to caught with commercialism and illusion of perfectionism. When it comes to weddings it is a bit about showing off and at this point spending a whole lot of money kicks in.

I describe myself as crafty but not the biggest and the best so I do know my limits so probably my wedding will be a mix. I know that i cannot bake hundred of little muffins (my wedding cake) so there will be a cheap option to buy them. I can design the invitations but make them printed professionally is the way to go to make it cheaper. Because sometimes going for the professional help means spending LESS money than D.I.Y.

It is always possible to plan the wedding the way you want it and not the commercial adds and magazines tell you to do. And it can be a mix of D.I.Y and non-D.I.Y.

« Reply #32 on: October 09, 2006 06:34:30 PM »

I am glad I tripped on this thread and read (most of) it. I was starting to feel like my wedding planning is too simple. It's easy to start thinking you "need" more than you do. I just keep trying to remember that part of being creative is being resourceful and finding solutions that are not mainstream. You can't buy good taste. So it doesn't matter how much money you spend but -how- you spend it.

« Reply #33 on: October 11, 2006 10:37:15 AM »

Leading up to our wedding, I was a member of theknot.com. I loved reading the local boards to see things about vendors, who would screw you, etc. Then I started going to places they recommended. I was the only one annoyed by the place that said on the phone it was $75 everything included per person, then when we got there it was $100, plus a dance floor, if you want a say in flowers, parking area, etc. Um, not what you had said...

We worked really hard on making our wedding about us, and people still comment on what a fun time it was.

At one point we were brainstorming and we were like, f-it, just have a bbq. And I started crying hysterically at the thought of a gingham dress. Beacuse what we wanted wasnt what the Industry said I should want. So I assumed there was a problem with me.

My maid of honor talked me out of tears and I bought my awesome alterna dress the next day.

Anyway, indibride was helpful for me to know I wasnt alone, even if around here it seemed like it. I still went to theknot meetups in the area, and a few women would be horrified by my $125 bridesmaid dress and laid back reception, but many said they wished they did their fairy tales more to their own tastes.

Stay strong!

(Pictures at http://melissaandjoe.shutterfly.com.)

« Reply #34 on: October 29, 2006 09:01:47 PM »

I find this topic sooo intriguing. I am getting married Aug 11, 2007 and I am a member of theknot.com. I too was getting caught up in the "buy,buy,buy" mindset. But, earlier today I read the BudgetBridesBio and it really grounded me. Our budget is currently at about $4,000. (It's actually going to be less than that.) I've been finding deals along the way. But, I have to say that my wedding is going to be fairly traditional. It's going to be a reception hall with a full meal (granted it is going to be breakfast). We are going to have an outdoor ceremony though.

I am making sure I price everything out to get a good deal. I don't feel like I've had to really cut anything out. I mean, we aren't doing tears of joy packets...but, then again I had NO clue what those were until I got on theknot.com. So, they aren't going to be missed.

If you want to see a full idea (or at least the current idea) of what our wedding is going to be like you can check out my bio. It includes a whole breakdown of the budget, my dress (only $109.60), the bridesmaids dresses (only $38.15), etc.


I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm mixing a traditional wedding with DIY aspects. I am planning on doing a lot of the traditional things, but I plan on finding a REALLY good deal on them first!
« Reply #35 on: October 31, 2006 05:24:05 PM »

it can absolutely be done.  our wedding was very close to $3500 and it combined pleny of traditional and DIY stuff.  if you need any tips, help, suppport... let me know.

« Reply #36 on: November 03, 2006 01:03:32 PM »

We decided to go to New Hope, PA to shop for our wedding outfits.  New Hope is full of little one-of-a-kind shops of all sorts. 

New Hope rocks, just so it's said.

I went through a brief commercial freak out a while back.  Keep in mind my dad owns a videography business and I the last time I checked I had accompanied him to over 175 weddings.  After saying for years that I wasn't going to turn into one of those bridezillas with the $300 centerpieces and the broke parents with an expression of shock, I started to get pressed about our choices.  After hearing a few dozen times "well, traditionally...." in response to every choice we made, I lost it and started thinking that maybe I wouldn't be happy unless I had all of those fringe pieces.  It took me a while to remember that out of all the weddings I had been to, the ones that were the most memorable (in a good way... so many bad weddings) were the ones that were personal.

Now my problem is that I'm swinging the other way, worrying if details aren't personal and DIY *enough*.  Sigh

There's a fine line between a "hobby" and a "mental illness"
« Reply #37 on: November 03, 2006 01:43:51 PM »

I stumbled upon this thread on accident as well.  My family has had 100% DIY weddings.  My brother's wedding was on the shores of Lake Michigan and they rented out a shelter at the park and did karaoke.  For my wedding, my husband and I did the traditional ceremony thing, rented out a chapel, etc, except we went to Vegas and we did all the flower arrangements and had our families fly out to join us.  Vegas is way more fun than Wisconsin in March and we were able to visit with our family and friends for the first few days of our honeymoon.  It was small and personal and everyone had a great time.

Alterna/DIY weddings are great.  I highly recommend them!

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« Reply #38 on: November 05, 2006 09:31:44 PM »

This is a great thread - especially to ground those bride-to-bes away from that grandiose image of what "everyone else" thinks your wedding should be.

Stay true to yourself AND your budget. Have no regrets and remember that the day is about the two of you!!

My husband and I didn't spend a lot of money on our wedding but I wouldn't have changed a thing! And we did it all ourselves. And the best part about it is that because we didn't spend thousands on our wedding we had more money to put down on a house immediately.

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« Reply #39 on: November 06, 2006 02:39:16 AM »

I have to admit that I was one of those girls who got a bit sucked in to the whole commercialized wedding industry.  If I had it to do all over again I would make it simpler, I think.  But looking back on it, I really like how my wedding turned out.  My mom and a bride's maid's mom made all the bride's maids' dresses and we had both the wedding and reception in our friend's parents' yard (ok, so they have a gorgeous house on a ranch over looking the ocean in southern california. so sue me) and I had a florist friend do the flowers for a serious discount.  We had connections to get most of the stuff we bought at a discount, which was pretty cool.  But I think I would skip the catering and go pot luck (or some variation thereof).

anyways, check out my pics here: http://www.shekinahstudios.com/wedding

I think that the most important thing is just to remember what the day is all about, and to do what you want, not what other people tell you you need to do.  I was in a wedding not too long ago where the bride wanted to please everyone else so badly that she snapped and turned into bridezilla.  Don't do it.  It's not fun for anybody. 

Good luck to all you brides and remember that your wedding is just the beginning!

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