You lost your books in a fire? I'm so sorry, that must be terrible! My favorite go-to stitchonary is The Embroiderer's Handbook by Margie Bauer
. The Embroider's handbook is a great photo reference stitchionary. Every stitch has fantastic clear photos and descriptions of how to do each step of the stitch. So one type of stitch - like Antique Hem Stitch has 16 small photos illustrating all the steps. They also have a few variations of some of the stitches like bullion knots: tapered bullion knots, long bullion knots, bullion knot loop, etc. I like to challenge myself to try as many new stitches in each embroidery project as possible, so I use reach for this book every time I stitch a new project.
I also really like Stitchery by Eleanor van de water.
Stitchery also demonstrates embroidery stitches, but where Stitchery excels is in the diverse application of those stitches. For every stitch, even something as simple as surface darning, the author urges you to experiment with those stitches and make them your own. How do they look if they're stacked up next to one another? How about if each row of stitches is made of stiches of varying sizes? What happens if they're curvy?
This book does not contain photos. Instead, it has a multitude of illustrations exploring how the individual stitches can interact with one another and how you can drastically change the effect by changing one simple thing about them. Stitchery is actually the coursebook for a television art course at Clark College, so it's the perfect book to work through on your own. I don't use this book as my stitchonary, I use it as my inspiration.
I also own Stitchopedia. In fact, this was the first embroidery book I purchased. It's a fantastic book and I purchased it with the intent to use it as my stitchonary. However, I found that the way the stitches were categorized (stumpwork, blackwork, etc) was counterproductive to my needs. Additionally, while it only has illustrations (just like Stitchery) I found the illustrations to be much more crowded and less clear that the illustrations in Stitchery. Perhaps because I don't use the illustrations in stitchery to learn the mechanics of the stitch, I use them to explore the stitch. If I need to learn the mechanics of the stitch such as insert needle at A come up at B, I use the Embroiderer's Handbook.
This ended up being a lot longer than I expected, but I hope it helped.