X-RATED CROCHET....Danger Phallus's ahead...{Now with pattern} Ornament Added!

[Laamissa]

Ok Here goes:


Tilted up:


Top View:


Bottom of "shaft"...the pouch tie off area:


This was originally intended to be a "sculpture" but I turned it into a pouch last minute...
sorry to picture you all to death but I wanted to capture all its very ....um ....essence!

Lets just say that I had a lot of free time!!
Hope you enjoy!

P.S...I hope that no one was offended in the viewing of my latest!
Sincerely ~M

[hopeevey]

Excellent!!

So - would begging get you to post the pattern?

[girlypirate]

that is so hilarious.  now i want matching penis and vagina coin purses.

[Jera]

That could also be a vibrator cozy! Yes, please give us a pattern!! That would make great dirty Santa gifts.

[shes crafty]

Isn't it missing some "twins"? So dirty we are!!!

[cheekymamaof2]

OMG thats hysterical! I love the vibrator cozy idea, also wouldnt it be cool to make that, and an extra large vulva coin purse to store it in? LOL

[shinyandbrandnew]

My my my, You Crocheters are sooo nasty. We knitters are so prudish...lol

[Laamissa]

Hello fellow crafters!

Here is the pattern:
starts at base...
-ch 18, join w sl st
-ch 1, sc in ea st for 18 rows
-1 sc in next *skip 1, sc in next 2* (6 x's) {this is to decrease for 1 row before head shaping}
-2 sc in ea st around {starting to increase}
-1 sl st, *1 sc in next, 2 sc in next*
-1 sl st, 1 sc in next, *skip 1, 2sc in next* skip last st (12 x's) {on the decrease again}
-1 sl st, 1 sc *skip 1, 2 sc in next* (6 x's)
-1 sl st, 1 sc *skip 1, 2 sc in next* (5 x's) skip last st
-1sl st in every other st to close

[[the 4 rows that begin with 1 sl st ea seemed to make the crease under the head appear for me]]

now back to the base to add on the drawstring and holes (this step can be omitted if you dont want a pouch/cozy)...
-join yarn next to where started at the beginning continuing in the same direction ch 4, skip 2 sts, *dc in next st, skip 2, dc in next st* all the way around, sl st into 1st "hole"

now for the fuzz...
-join 2 strands of fun fur held together, ch 1, sc in ea st around, sl st to finish, sew in ends

for tie string...
-ch 1 strand of fun fur and 1 strand of matching yarn (i did brown and brown but you can pick any color you'd like)  ch about 40
-weave the chain in and out of holes crocheted in at the end

I used a little stuffing and pushed it up into the head so it would keep its shape too
I wrote the pattern up as I went along so I hope that It works for anyone willing to give it a whirl

Enjoy!   ~M

[froggygyrl]

Sheer genius!!!!

Thanks for the pattern. Everyone I know will be getting crocheted phalli for the winter holiday. Thanks for reminding me to have fun while crafting, sometimes I get so serious about it.

I don't know about the vibrator cozy though...  all of my friends' vibrators have curved thingys and extra "love-button" stimulating appartuses. That would have to be a custom job. 

[Lothruin]

I can't help myself.  This craft is too cool.  Now you need to make a detachable foreskin.

As for the good work, as amie said, I hope you don't have any trouble keeping it up...