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Topic: Holiday Handmade gift disappointment :(  (Read 65018 times)
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MandyLikesPie
« Reply #370 on: November 10, 2008 08:38:26 AM »

I've never made anything for my husband. I always ask if he wants me to make him something, and he always politely says no. Not that he doesn't like or appreciate the things I make, it's just that he doesn't really have a need for "stuff" (like scarves, hats, wallets, embellished shirts; he has a very basic, no-frills style) and doesn't want me to spend the time making him something he probably won't use. He did, however, ask me to make him a teeny amigurumi coffee cup, and it's on his computer monitor at work.  Smiley

I finally accepted that it's best to keep the recipient's wishes in mind and, if they aren't the kind of person that would use/want/appreciate a handmade gift, I won't give them one. It's not worth the resentment on my part if the gift goes unused/unwanted/unappreciated. Instead, I do craft swaps where people appreciate my handiwork.  Grin
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Willowe
« Reply #371 on: November 10, 2008 12:20:45 PM »

Most of my handmade presents are recieved well each year, though I think now my family's starting to wait for me to "grow out of it", so to speak. I've only ever made them gifts, so I think they associated handmade gifts with a little kid thing. Sad

Still, I try to keep what they'd like in mind when making them gifts, so they do use them from time to time, which is always nice to see.
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eukarya
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« Reply #372 on: November 10, 2008 03:26:34 PM »

I made him a stencil shirt last year and its in the bottom of his drawers never been touched. It was a cool shirt, too.

I did that for my husband, and I think he's worn it three times. The second time was at least four months after I made it ("Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that shirt.").   Roll Eyes

Yeah, I'm afraid of that reaction from my DH too.  I've never made him anything.  I might make him something this year.  He built a collapsible target frame to take to the shooting range and I want to make him a carrying bag for it.  I wouldn't make him a shirt because he has drawers full of them. 
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kstaron
« Reply #373 on: November 11, 2008 07:37:23 AM »

I think I've been lucky. Everyone in my family at least knows how to fake appreciation.  There are several things that have not gotten used much, but they all went over well.

I try to make something handmade for each person every year, They know this, they understand that they will be getting something hand made by me, often part of a gift basket that has other store bought stuff too.  I get requests for candied nuts that I only make during the holidays. 

I got an off-hand rocking comment from my SIL that made me smile.  She went to a website that lets you design your own handbag and designed one for me. (I cringed a little at how much she's spending on me..make need to make her more!) She said is was the closest thing she'd ever be able to get to making me a handmade gift.  That let me know she really does appreciate the effort that goes into it. I was just thrilled.
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Muria
« Reply #374 on: November 11, 2008 01:36:51 PM »

I made him a stencil shirt last year and its in the bottom of his drawers never been touched. It was a cool shirt, too.

I did that for my husband, and I think he's worn it three times. The second time was at least four months after I made it ("Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that shirt.").   Roll Eyes

Yeah, I'm afraid of that reaction from my DH too.  I've never made him anything.  I might make him something this year.  He built a collapsible target frame to take to the shooting range and I want to make him a carrying bag for it.  I wouldn't make him a shirt because he has drawers full of them. 

I can't complain too loudly, actually. He uses the blanket I made for him (with a pocket at the bottom for his feet), still keeps his dice in the dice bag I made him when we first got married (though he hasn't actively done paper RPGing for probably 10 years), and used the remote control pouch I made for his recliner for a few years before the kids ran off with it.  It was just that I'd planned that he would love the shirt (it has some RPG related stuff on it), and it sits in the drawer.  I suppose I just had overly high expectations.
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Muria

Where did all this fabric come from? I CAN'T have bought THAT much!
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« Reply #375 on: November 11, 2008 01:51:21 PM »

One word of caution that I do have - most people are not going to appreciate anything handmade if it is of poor quality, not well made, or not professional looking. Most people are spoiled rotten by mass made machine-perfect crap, and they don't understand the intricacies and variations that are invaluable to handmade items. That being said, a lot of crafters out there are not at a professional level, and their handmade items (though made with a LOT of love), simply do not come out looking as great as they could. I realize that this shouldn't matter, it's not the intrinsic aim of handmade gifts to look retail-ready (I myself am a thought-that-counts type when receiving gifts), but the details are important when trying to turn people on to the handmade lifestyle and handmade gifts. No one wants to receive a gift from an adult that looks like a 3rd grader put it together, and quite frankly it takes practice and skill to create a retail-ready looking item. I think this explains a lot of the negative reactions that recipients have to self-made gifts.

That being said - keep up the good fight, gift 'em with handmade until they begin to understand the romance of creating something with two hands! Just make sure it looks nice and represents you well.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2008 01:58:46 PM by missjesswinkwink » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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IamSusie
« Reply #376 on: November 11, 2008 02:53:05 PM »

Hold on there, missjesswinkwink.  I'm certain that you don't really mean to imply that my very high quality handmade items were rejected because they were not really good enough and I was deluding myself.  Huh

Some recipients of gifts simply do not know how to be gracious no matter what they receive.
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meggageg
« Reply #377 on: November 11, 2008 03:07:34 PM »

I think every crafter is their own worst critic. I certainly wouldn't give something I made to someone unless I absolutely love must have it myself (I usually end up making doubles of everything!).
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« Reply #378 on: November 11, 2008 03:20:16 PM »

Some recipients of gifts simply do not know how to be gracious no matter what they receive.

*ding ding*  I am in totally agreement with this!!  For some people it's all about quantity instead of quality  Sad 

This Christmas, I'm doing a lot of sewn things, and for the most part I feel like I will get good reception from people, however, there are a few that will be super-fake-"omg you made this??" to my face, and once they go home will be "meh", and a few that will have a "that's all?" attitude.  It bothers me a bit, but I happen to have more time than money right now hehe

Baked items usually get good reception from anyone though
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MandyLikesPie
« Reply #379 on: November 11, 2008 03:49:18 PM »

This thread makes me thing of The Office Christmas episode in season 2, when Phyllis gave Michael a knitted potholder and he made it very clear that he felt ripped off because he got a handmade gift.  Cheesy I think a lot of people who don't craft perceive handmade things as lower quality than storebought regardless of how well-done they are. Which really is funny because it takes so much more skill and quality of work to make a nice handcrafted item than it does for a machine to spit out a mass-produced product.
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