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Topic: Finally dumping my boyfriend - sigh. *LONG RANT*  (Read 1786 times)
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beadgirl
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« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2005 11:09:19 AM »

Good for you!  I would give you a hug if the computer would let me!   Smiley Cheesy Grin Wink  Grin
« Last Edit: November 29, 2005 11:12:55 AM by beadgirl » THIS ROCKS   Logged

BlackMarketBaby
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2005 11:09:49 AM »

I just wanted to say that I too am very proud of you!  You've done the right thing.  A very close friend of mine is currently in a situation similar to yours before you left your ex, and all I can do is try to be supportive of her, and let her know I am there for her, and HOPE HOPE HOPE that she will soon feel ready to take the brave step you have taken.  I know it's hard to let go, but the effect of a relationship should be to enhance one's life, and if it doesn't do that - certainly if it adds negative elements - the best thing is to leave.  Well done for managing to take that step.  Also - you sound like a great auntie, and the fact that you look after your niece and bestow upon her your nurturing is good for you, as well as for her, and is living, every-day proof to you that you are a good, caring, and deserving woman.
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Nikki Knacks
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« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2005 01:03:46 AM »

::APPLAUSE::

Not many women have the courage you have shown in dumping that bully. I'm so proud of you!! Stick to your guns and keep him gone, no matter what! Just remember when you stop looking for Mr. Right he will tap you on the shoulder one day and ask to borrow your knitting needles..hee hee It happened to me but it was me tapping him on the shoulder to ask to borrow his car magazine Grin

Always remember when you meet someone they were that way before you met them they will be that way after you meet them. Never try to change someone and NEVER let them try to change you!!

You are a brave and wonderful woman never let a man make you forget that! If you ever need anything your craftster buddies are here for you, PMs welcomed for any reason. ((((craft love)))
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Maybe I'm normal and it's everyone else that crazy....
mata
« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2005 01:44:08 AM »

Quote:
I have ALWAYS been mental - too self-conscious, too scared, too worried, too frightened of everything to feel like a normal person.

Dear metamurph!
You sound just like me (not all the time luckily). I know how easy it is to swallow loads of shit day after day.. and how hard it is to stand up. It must be even harder when the abusive person in your life is the one *supposed* to make you happy and surround you with love. Family or coworkers you can't choose.. but boyfriends, you can. Don't be scared to be alone for a while! It's much better to be alone than with someone with this kind of behaviour. You are not old! And your future boyfriend doesn't necessarily have to be a knitter.. but someone who appreciates you, yes. Someone that may find you a little "mental" (in a good way) for your compulsive crafting.. but that will never laugh at you or put you down. My boyfriend (bless him...) thinks I am a little crazy for all the stuff I come up with, but he is always supportive. He doesn't knit or sew.. but loves the stuff I make for him. That's what really matters!
I like this that Nikki Knacks said:
> Never try to change someone and NEVER let them try to change you!!
So.. be strong, and have faith in yourself!!!!!!!
Lots of hugs  Smiley
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patriautism
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2005 01:47:42 AM »

I just wanted to say "good for you!" too. My mom is a perpetual victim. She once tried to throw ME out for saying she should consider leaving her abusive boyfriend. She did, but not until he bit part of her face off. Point is, she's made a habit of surrounding herself with these types of people and generally doesn't know how to act if someone is nice to her. Victims get used to a certain type of interaction, and abusers are good at subtlety with gradual escalation. Glad to see you know what you want and it's not that!

I've been lucky. I'm married to a wonderful man now. I'm pretty nonconfrontational and he actually helps me with that, which is really good. I feel so much better after standing up for myself and saying something rather than brooding about it later.
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avantasia
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« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2005 04:54:05 AM »

Congrats on dumping the bloke and I hope he'll never get in touch with you again!!
I also like to be at home by myself in my own world Smiley And I think it's a good thing to spend time with yourself only, if that's how you feel.
I think that somebody else's suggestion about joining craft groups in your area was a very good idea. ^^
Man, I feel like beating the ... out of your (now ex-)bf for being such an awful person. You totally deserve something much better than this!!! Good luck! Smiley
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metamurph
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« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2005 11:44:24 AM »

You guys are awesome. I was sitting here last night reading the replies and getting all weepy. Reinforcement that I made a good choice in shedding myself of 170 pounds of dead weight has come from literally EVERYWHERE - even places I didn't expect it to be. Thank you all for commiserating with me, and I love you beyond words.

It's been nearly two weeks since I hung the phone up on what's-his-face, and I haven't talked to him since. He hasn't called me, I haven't called him, and the world is still spinning.

My kitty Mel is resting in peace, and on Saturday I ended up adopting two more furballs from the Humane Society. Support them - they bring love to so many animals and humans alike. My new babies are beautiful and full of joy - Alex is a three-month-old black and white mutt of a cat, and Rini is a six-month-old Russian Blue (like Church from Pet Sematary). They've brought smiles to sad faces and the occasional heart attack to all of us when they chase each other near the upstairs balcony. When I stepped in a pile of cold kitty yarf this morning, I knew that things were getting back to some kind of order again.

Tonight is for knitting and Surface (if it isn't a repeat). I will cuddle with my yarn while, under my purple blanky, cats sleep like logs, cutting off the circulation to my feet.

Now back to our crafty discussions! Thanks everyone - again!
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laureg
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« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2005 12:20:54 PM »

i'm late to the party on this one, but...

everyone deserves to be with someone that makes them happy and can be themselves around.

i guess what struck me the most was how articulate you are and how much he, well, just isn't! you need to be with someone who matches you, miss!

a saying kept coming to my mind while i read your post- "it's better to be alone than wishing you were." it's hard because it's so close to the holidays, but honestly- you don't need someone around who will just make things harder for you in the long run.

good luck to you, i admire your courage! being able to say "enough!" is a true test of strength. and it's a real credit to you that you know what your own limits are.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2005 12:25:11 PM by laureg » THIS ROCKS   Logged

you are not the boss of me
CosmicCranberry
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2005 12:25:48 PM »

hoildays are a great time to be single!! just think of how many christmas parties there are....and how many other occasions there will be to meet someone new under the mistletoe.....
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bigeyes
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2005 01:22:05 PM »

Good for you!  Nobody needs to be around that kind of man.  You reminded me of my pet peeve...men referring to eachother as 'bitches.'  Why is it that the worst insult a man can find to use on another man is to call him a bitch or a girl?  And how do those same men with a straight face tell you they believe in equality? When they start seeing us as equal rather than 'less than' I'll believe them.

Condolences on your pet. 

As to the guy, you can't help but do better next time sweetie!

chin up
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if you can't lie no better than that......you might as well tell the truth.
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