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Topic: Does your knitting bother your significant other?  (Read 6159 times)
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hst
« on: July 31, 2005 08:57:19 PM »

I am curious if others have the same problem as me.  Yes I know I am obsessed with knitting, but I don't understand why it bothers my husband.  Yes I read about it on my free time and yes I would rather knit than spend time with him.  Does that make me a bad person?
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« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2005 09:00:39 PM »

Hmm, I wouldnt say it makes you a bad person, but you should still want to be with your husband during some of your spare time...even if it is just watching a movie while knitting by him, ... otherwise what's the point?

Actually my boyfriend likes that I love to knit, but he gets frustrated that I buy all these patterns and magazines...yarn and stuff. And he's always telling me to make him pillows. And sometimes he does get jealous of the attention I give to knitting...but lately my attention has been on other crafts, and he gets on me about that too...and he also gets saddened a little that I dont spend as much time with him as he would like. But I do make it a point to spend some time just with him. You gotta prioritize, you know?
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« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2005 09:16:08 PM »

My boyfriend is fascinated by it. I'll be like, "OK, we're on the increase row!" and he'll be like, "The increase row? Already? When do we get to the eyelets?" He likes to knit vicariously.

Maybe if you explained it more to him--the idea of creating items with just yarn and sticks is interesting to the engineering-minded men out there. And maybe make some small things for him, so that he can go to the yarn store with you and pick things out and see all the cool stuff you can make.
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AmyKT5
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2005 10:24:56 PM »

The fact that I knit isn't so much the problem.  My fiance doesn't like that I keep half-finished projects and yarn in various places throughout our small apartment.  He doesn't understand how I can have, oh, 2 or 3 UFOs going all at once.  Also, he doesn't quite get the need to buy new yarn and patterns, knowing full well they won't be used for some time yet.  I think I get the most flack from him, though, about a crocheted afghan I started for him...last summer?  Every time I start something new he suggests I finish the afghan.  But what can I say?  I get bored easily!  Embarrassed

Other than that, though, he is pretty cool with it.  He likes to see the FOs and always seems impressed that it came about from a couple of sticks and some yarn.

Quote
even if it is just watching a movie while knitting by him
I second that, by the way.  My fiance and I do a lot of tv viewing/movie watching together while I knit.
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« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2005 10:45:53 PM »

My boyfriend doesn't mind me knitting at all.  He helps me keep up with patterns some times! 
He does bug me about learning how to make socks so he can wear them.  I know that I will have to get some made by April, when he ships off to Iraq.
He is so great that he willingly goes to yarn shops with me when we are out of town.  He usually buys me a new skein of yarn every time we visit a new shop.
I am very lucky
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bryonyramsden
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2005 01:13:46 AM »

I too do the film watching thing, although the needles get in the way of a bit of a snuggle up sometimes...  My bloke doesn't mind me knitting - he's a computer obsessive anyway, and what was supposed to be a guest bedroom and study when we moved in to the house 2 years ago is now purely a room full of computer parts, computer magazines, CD ROM, wiring etc etc etc, so he can hardly complain about my stash and bits of knitting getting around the house a bit Cheesy  BUT, I was noseying around the spinning section on here, and just trying ebay out for prices out of curiosity, and he noticed me browsing and said 'you aren't going to SPIN as well, are you?'.  Cheesy  Apparently his concern and tone of voice was largely down to worrying about whether it would bother my asthma.  My only major asthma attack was caused by someone's perfume, and knitting has never yet caused me a problem, similarly yarn shops have no effect.  Hmmmmm, I wonder whether he is afraid of losing some of the spare room to yarn...
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« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2005 01:30:51 AM »

mine hates yarn stores with a passion - he can't envisage the balls as finished objects, thus can't see why i can spend hours pondering over which wool to buy.

and he's not so keen on the fact that when i'm knitting he can't lounge round all over me like he can if we're just watching tv.

but other than that, he tolerates it. like i tolerate his 'classic' (read: piece of junk that frequently breaks down for reasons that he can't work out) car.
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ysolda
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2005 01:32:27 AM »

surely if you'd rather spend time knitting than with him the problem is with your relationship rather than your knitting
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NoelleNoodle
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2005 03:05:43 AM »

Hell, it's my husband's fault I took up knitting LOL  He got three knitting books for me for Christmas (the two stitch n bitches and a "learning knitting visually" book) and even read enough of them to help me go pick out needles and beginner's necessities.  And it was his aunt who showed me the basic cast on and knit stitch! 

I'm so thankful for it because this really is the first time I've felt creative in years.  I think he only regrets it when he starts thinking about how much money I've spent on yarn and things already and I only started in February  Cheesy

But he's one of those computer geek gamers so I think, even though I never give him trouble about the amount of spare time and money he spends on his computer, he's relieved that I have my own little obsession too.  Not like I never got obsessed with a computer game myself once or twice.  Oh no.  :hides three gigabyte Sims folder:

I'm positive there's more going on with you guys than knitting and I don't feel remotely qualified to speculate on someone else's relationship.  So I can only tell you what I would do if Cody and I were having trouble like this. 

Firstly I would try to figure out what exactly it is about my knitting that bothers him.  If he's feeling neglected or ignored I would try to figure out a way where we could have cozy knitting time together.  Those who suggested watching a movie together were right on.  If he's more of a console gamer I have a friend who sits on the sofa with her husband and knits while he plays games on his Playstation.  They don't even have cable tv this is like watching television to them!!  So they get to share their hobbies how cool is that?

I also agree with those who suggested that you get him more involved in the projects:  have him pick out a pattern and yarn for you to make something or keep him updated on your projects.  Guys can be awfully self-involved sometimes and might not see the good part about things unless they see what they can get out of it.  Sad but occasionally true.

And show him how genuinely excited you are about your projects.  I can't help thinking that he'd probably be a lot more supportive if he saw just how happy this makes you as opposed to something that just takes time away from him.

In our case the best way we work things like this out is by talking.  Me telling him that (for example) I resent feeling guilty for spending time on a hobby I enjoy and him telling me that (another example) he misses spending time with me and is jealous of the the pretty soft yarn getting all my cuddles, attention, and support. 

I find that when we have fights like this it's usually something else that's really bothering us (like frustrations with work or family or something) and that it's easier to fight about the smaller things.  So I'm afraid that what my advice boils down to is communication.  And maybe finding a hobby for him!   Grin
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Annkari
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2005 03:56:21 AM »

I taught my husband how to knit (well, he origninally learned it in school 20 years ago, but forgot most of it), and now we'll sit on the balcony together, knitting!  Smiley

Before that, I would try to knit when he was doing other stuff or when we were watching TV, so that we still had time to do other things together. But I know how obsessed one can get with knitting, I have so many unfinished projects lying around, and they all seem to call "knit me!"  Grin
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