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Topic: Can't we all just get along?  (Read 3370 times)
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hngoodlett
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« on: November 20, 2009 08:35:35 AM »

So maybe it's just me, but I've felt like people are being much less friendly on the swap boards lately. I haven't had anyone be mean to me directly, but I've noticed a general increase in snark. Maybe it's holiday stress or even me being more sensitive, but it makes me a little sad. We're all here to craft and share our crafts, right?
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« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2009 09:15:47 AM »

I think that there have been some recent miscommunications between people but they have been limited.  I always think of Craftster like a little city -- there are lots of different people doing different things and occasionally there will be a tiny skirmish or miscommunication.  It always impresses me with how wonderful and supportive the Craftster community is as a whole!  There are a ton of places online that don't give everyone the same level of respect.. and well, I have to say, I think everyone here is really terrific!



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« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2009 12:59:50 PM »

Sometimes I think people in my area of the world get a little snarky when it rains alot (and gray skies/lack of sunshine)!

I just wanted to say how much I love craftster and can attest that it is MUCH better than another site I used to swap on. I ended up dropping my account on the other site because there was always negativity, backbiting, gossiping and general snarkiness.
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« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2009 09:15:11 AM »

The good far outweighs the bad and when it gets bad the moderators are there to bring things back in line in a very professional manner.  That is the great thing, Craftster is very moderated, but I know you already know that because I have swapped with you before and I know you have been around for some time.

I also think it is the season or the air or whatever too.  Even at work I came in feeling great and no more than said "hi" and someone snapped.  What can you do.
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« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2009 09:45:31 AM »

It's something in the air, alright- SAD's (Seasonal Affective Disorder)! It's already rampant over here in Idaho. Try not to take it personally, hngoodlett- this too shall pass! (As in, "Pass the Valium, I gotta go thru crosstown traffic to get to the shops!")
LOL  Grin
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Saturn
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« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2009 05:50:37 PM »

Hmm, must be the holidays or the economy. In my experience, everyone's really supportive and kind for the most part on here, and the moderators do their part in keeping things peaceful. (I've even had posts deleted in the past, lol. But that was years ago, and I forget the reasons...maybe I was lurk-posting lol) Besides the 'Great Betta Fish in a Revamped Lava Lamp Incident of 05' I haven't seen to many arguments.  Grin  I like thinking of Craftster as a little city too! It's grown so much since I've joined. Smiley

Hopefully whatever you're seeing on the boards will calm down after the holidays. Maybe there should have been a "Holiday Survival Kit" swap a month or two ago, hehe.  Wink

Hugs to everyone!
-Saturn
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« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2009 09:16:26 AM »

I haven't seen a lot of negativity...but my two cents is sometimes, when people post on the internet or e-mail, their message doesn't always come across the way they intended & then people get offended.  I've seen that happen several times...to me, in fact.  Smiley
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lovesclutter
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« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2009 08:38:25 PM »

I haven't seen a lot of negativity...but my two cents is sometimes, when people post on the internet or e-mail, their message doesn't always come across the way they intended & then people get offended.  I've seen that happen several times...to me, in fact.  Smiley
I have to agree. Rant over. Can't say any more.
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« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2009 05:56:03 PM »

I know what you are talking about it.  Some of it swirled around pretty thickly in a couple of new idea threads I was part of recently, and I've seen smaller skirmshes in the past couple of months, too.  Almost every case was totally miscommunication because what was intended to be conveyed was not what was received because it was all just letters on a screen without tone of voice, body language, etc.  (One exception was a person speaking out of ignorance and then pitching a s***fit when corrected (nicely!) by some people.  Ugh!)

And, sometimes, people just take a swap to heart, it becomes very personal to them (esp. if it is something like holiday or illness or family related), and having it dinked around with by others who don't see it so ..ummm... critically can sting that person into unthinking, wounded animal mode.  I KNOW I've witness that on here.  If you witness a case of response being way out of proportion to stimulus on the swap boards, it's kind of time to go, "Whoa!  OK.  Ummm, there's something larger going on here."  In one thread, I just went silent rather than get into a flame war.  It was not worth it.  Someone there obviously had some larger thorns up his/her tookus, and the kindest thing I could do was wander away and not lash back.

Also, and I know I'll probably get flogged for this, every now and then I notice a regional/cultural difference.  Something that is tactless and tacky for, say, an proper Southern woman in the US (I'm Southern, but not proper! LOL) is just normal means of conversation for someone in other places.  Add into it nationality and language-of-origin differences, and we are a spicy pot of soup!  Sometimes, I notice innate communication styles being kinda at the heart of it.

All this said:

1.  YES, there is something in the air.  Not just on here.  Just about everywhere.  SAD, holiday stress, economic stress (I think pervasive money worries are still eating most folks alive), or whatever, there is definitely a more titchy vibe I've noticed lately.  

2.  Craftster is an OVERWHELMINGLY positive place.  I have NEVER seen a "disagreement" on here that wasn't settled and smoothed over fairly quickly.  I've never seen craftster break into factions which has been the norm in most online communities I've participated in.

3.  People are very helpful on here.  The thing is, most folks on here, I believe, (most, not all) will actually look at a b****y post and after kind of being flumoxed for a moment think something benevolent like, "What's wrong with her today?  OK, that's weird.  Something's bothering her."  I honestly think most (again, not all) folks around here are high level experts at giving the benefit of the doubt.  

I will say this.  Speaking for myself, holiday swaps are kinda personal.  They have a sensitivity and fragility that other swaps don't because, well, the holidays are hard for some of us.  I think when the ickiness swirls around a holiday swap that sometimes it's a bit of holiday sadness or angst coming out around the edges.  And, while, yes, it can be oh-so-irritating and bothersome at times, it is, indeed, a reason to take that extra deep breath and try for compassion instead of breaking out the flogging gear.

That said, I'm gonna take a cattleprod to anyone who flakes on my swaps.  Cool

« Last Edit: December 02, 2009 09:51:10 PM by Aikibookworm » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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TroubleT
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« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2009 03:32:59 AM »

That said, I'm gonna take a cattleprod to anyone who flakes on my swaps. 

Oooo, this sounds like fun!  Grin
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MissDisney
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« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2009 03:02:03 AM »

a little note about negativity, its inevitable. no one gets along with everyone all of the time...and sometimes we need to be reminded to behave by the very necessary mods (i got into a HUGE thingy on another site and the worst part was there were no Mods, which was the core of the problem)

also, even people disagreeing today can end up good friends....me and bsonlytoots werent exactly awesome to each other the first time we *met* but now she is one of my closest online friends Smiley
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Lunamione
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« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2009 11:42:18 AM »

I think Crafster, compared to alot of other places I have been recently, is the friendliest place I have ever been online. I think it has a lot to do with the Mods here personally because they actually do their job. They delete nasty posts and keep everyone in line and everything running smoothly. Alot of other sites I have been on the mods have been half the problem, taking sides and joining in with the arguing or worse, just ignoring it alltogether! I love how the rules (for the most part) are actually followed here.

I've only really had one major problem and that was with a swap I was organising. I had to move house and lost internet for longer than I was expecting and everyone thought I was flaking Sad I opened my inbox to find all these messages (none of them mean) saying if I didn't show up soon I would get negative feedback and they would start finding Angels, which is fair enough but I did get a bit overwhelmed and felt upset that people thought I was a flaker. It all got sorted and no harm done Smiley

I also specifically asked not to be paired with someone from a past swap, I emailed the organiser privately. The person in question had never been nasty/rude or anything like that towards me but I knew from reading some of her posts that we had different views about things which could potentially become a problem in a long international swap so I just politely asked to be paired with someone else.

And of course I've been flaked on which is always heart breaking but then you get a wonderful Angel to make up for it. Angels really don't get much in return, they just do it because they are nice people.

So I think that even though there may be some rotten eggs, Crafster is definitely one of the friendlyest, safest places you can be online  Cheesy
 
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« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2009 08:02:21 PM »

I so agree with you on that one. I am needing angels more than I would like and it is really hard to really thank those who are so kind.

I love this place and have never had a real flame. Thank goodness for craftster.
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edelC
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« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2009 09:36:38 AM »

Yes I think that there may be a little extra snippiness around, but I think it is the holidays/money...aikibookworm explained it well above.

but I just want to throw my 2 cents in (or 2 cent as we say in europe, there is a reason we dont add the 's' but I cant remember why!)

I think the mods do a fantastic job, I have seen time and time again the mods stepping in and heading off arguments, pouring oil on troubled waters and generally reminding people to play nice. And its all the mods, not just the same one or two. they are really good at what they do! and it shows, craftster is a nice place to be
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