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Topic: sticks and stones  (Read 6261 times)
Tags for this thread: embroidery , empowerment , domestic_violence_awareness , good_cause_challenge  Add new tag
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lisalady161
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« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2009 01:05:00 PM »

Okay. Yours is the one that made me cry.

My late father was a severe binge drinker and though he never laid a hand on my mother, my siblings or myself, his words were so cruel when he drank...he would not stop until he made you cry.

I loved him then, I love him now. I know the background he came from and what caused it, but yes, it is abuse.  Often for it's abuse both parties, because the abuser usually feels rotten about it afterwords and then they feel justified in thinking less of themselves so the cycle just continues!

That is a haunting, awesome piece.
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craftydame
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« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2009 02:53:02 PM »

thank you so much everyone. not just for your words of appreciation for the piece, but for the emotions and experiences you've shared as well. craftster definitely need a hug application!

lisalady, i'm sorry i made you cry, but i'm glad it moved something in you.
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« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2009 04:05:01 PM »

this speaks volumes upon volumes to me.  I've gone through to much really to type but, an abandonment from my own father (and emotional abuse from him and multitudes of others) and our own relatives because they'd rather believe the lies being spoken about us (its not just me going through this but the rest of my family).  A betrayal through a friend,and had my heart crushed by the man I loved because he would rather believe the lies being spoken about me (by my friend none the less) as well and what sucked is he had gone through an emotional abused relationship before ever meeting me and he still didn't see the truth!  

What I don't get is those that have been abused emotionally see it for that, an abuse a violation of our minds and feelings.  But when I confronted my father about what he was doing, he never saw it as that.  Ever! in his mind he's the victim of all this, and that we deserve every hard trial we go through.  How is it he can view it that way?

seeing this needlework shows that other people see that words do hurt horribly! And that we've all been affected by it somehow.  I know I'm babbling, i'm sorry but this piece of work is beautiful.  Thank you for sharing it with us.  Not only to the survivors who've gone through this but hopefully to the ones who dole out this abuse will think twice before hurting anyone else again.  
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« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2009 04:09:59 PM »

*big hugs*

Thank you for posting this.  I think there is something about strength in numbers.  I love the pretty colors and the powerful message. 

What's ironic is that people don't understand that saying kind things, positive things makes you feel as good as the person you are saying them to.  Likewise, saying hurtful, awful things only makes you feel like shit.  On a purely selfish level, being nice to people is so much more satisfying. 

I'm sorry you were emotionally abused and I'm glad you are starting to come to terms with it and move on.  I think this piece is great! Smiley
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lisalady161
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« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2009 07:48:08 PM »

Craftydame,

I'm glad it moved me, too.  I got to a point about a decade ago where there was so much pain and loss that I stopped crying for a while.  But I stopped laughing, too.

You can't have one without the other! I prefer these tears, they're the healing kind.

Again, your piece is wonderful.
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Catielove
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2009 08:20:39 PM »

I'm sad to see so many others that have had to deal with emotional abuse, but still glad that I'm not alone.

I think you did a wonderful job on the embroidery, and the message is very powerful.
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« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2009 01:51:33 AM »

I have been there too, the relationship has been over for about 7 years now but it took years to undo the harm it did.

It wasnt until i read some of the articles on this page that I was able to recognise it for what it is.

this one http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/emotional_abuse.shtml

and this is the start of a longer one. http://www.obgyn.net/displayarticle.asp?page=/yw/articles/Romeopart1

these both helped me clarify a lot and to understand what he did and the effect it had on me.

wonderful piece of work craftydame. It really does speak to me
X
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Le Mieux
« Reply #17 on: October 20, 2009 11:36:10 AM »

i had to comment on this too, although i have nothing new to say....i just LOVE what you've done, SO MUCH. its such an amazing phrase - i was going to ask if its ok for me to take inspiration from it so i can put it up in my home? (theres no way it'd be anywhere as good as this!!)

i didnt cry from the age of 14, till i was 20, when i was listening to a song about what i'd been through....and the tears just came out. it was unbelieveable, i had no idea they were even coming, and was shocked cos i'd forgotten what it felt like. since then i cry at EVERYTHING, but i also embrace it, cos it feels so amazing to me to express what im feeling.

emotional abuse is a real, terrifying problem. i suffered under the words of an ex a few years back, and only when i mentioned what he was like to my best friend, did she confirm it was wrong, and that she'd also experienced it. being told you're a bad, pathetic, useless piece of crap is one thing...believing it can take years to undo.

sorry for the essay!! but thank you so much for this work!!
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« Reply #18 on: October 20, 2009 12:49:42 PM »

thank you for posting those links, edelC. I only read through the first one but it made me realize so much!
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theatreorchid
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« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2009 09:51:44 PM »

Thank you for posting this, craftydame.  It's such a simple, meaningful little piece.  I'm going to have to add my voice to the chorus of those who have been touched so deeply by this it made me cry. 
Emotional abuse is something I've been living with my entire life, thanks to my father.  I thought I was finally free when I left his house at 18, but now am stuck right in it again because my husband is away and due to my unmedicated bipolar disorder I can't keep a job and support myself, and it's hard, so incredibly hard.  Dad offered me a place back in his home and I had no choice but to take it and jump right back into the abuse again.  I used to try to seek help (especially since I was homeless when moved out the first time) but supposed "abuse advocates" just ignored me in person and wouldn't return my calls because I don't, and never have had any visible bruises.  He's done his job with me so well that I even feel guilty about that.

But anyway, this isn't the place to write a novel, I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you for making this piece, and for sharing it, and raising awareness for a group of people that find it so damn hard to get anyone to listen. 
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