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Topic: Tip if you have an older or single mom  (Read 3172 times)
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gearhead_70
« on: April 12, 2005 12:36:52 PM »

My mother is getting up there in years (74) and is widowed.  So she often needs things done around the house.  My siblings and In-law sibs all go to mom's on Mother's day prepared to spend the day working and doing all the little things that need done.

We take bedding plants that the smaller children and less brawny can plant for her. We paint, trim trees, and generally clean up and fix up anything she wants done.

She loves this and really looks forward to it!  She starts planning ahead of time so that she doesn't forget anything!
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ming
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2005 02:27:29 PM »

I have four "moms" in America. My biological mom, a long time friend who is the same age as my mom (50), another friend who is 84 and who's husband passed away 1 1/2 years ago (they were married about 60 years!!!), and my fianc's mother.

Last year I made a cake and delivered pieces with some nice garnishes of strawberries and mint to all four of these amazing women on Mother's day. I used to see the elder friend every Saturday morning and help her do errands and yard work (I moved last year to another state). I love befriending people who are much older than me (I'm 22), you learn sooooooo much from them. Especially if they were part of "the greatest generation" of Americans. I wish I knew my grandparents and rest of the family (on both sides) better though, they all live in China and I visit every few years but it's hard to get to know people when you only see them for a few weeks (and when my Chinese isn't that great to write long and detailed letters Undecided)
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sweets4ever
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« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2005 02:55:36 PM »

That's a great idea Ole' Bitty! 

I have done similar when I lived closer to my Mom.. one year instead of spending the day doing chores, we just spent the day shopping & hanging out...then her actual gift was a book of homemade coupons.. that entitled her to steal me whenever to do whatever (chores)...that way my gift was all through the year Wink and reminded her of Mother's Day.
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« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2005 08:25:26 AM »

Ming, I too love befriending older people. I thought only I did that. Your relatives don't have to be in another country for it to be hard to get to know them. All of my relatives live in another state and it is really hard for my dad to get off work so we can go see them. I write them all the time, but I still feel like I miss out on so much. Almost all of my cousins have had children and I really want to see them. My oldest cousin just adopted a little girl from India. I'm really excited about seeing all of them this summer.
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ming
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2005 07:07:58 AM »

ducktape_diva,

I try to write to my family, but the major problem is the language barrier. I speak Chinese well enough to communicate, but writing is a whole different story. Add on the problem that my dad's side of the family live in a region with HEAVY dialect accents, I feel like sometimes I am just doing the nodding my head and smiling thing when I speak to some family members. I ask them to repeat stuff all the time, but when I have to ask them the fourth or fifth time to say something again, I kinda just give up.

I'm huge on living life by learning from other people's mistakes and triumps (and my own of course), and a lot of the older people I meet haven't had the perfect life (come on, who does??). It's refreshing to be with people who were younger in a different time- the old lady I mentioned in the previous post lived in India and Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) with her late husband in the 60's and 70's. They partied and dined with dignitaries and diplomats, and she even used to volunteer for Mother Theresa... how "moviesque" is that? I love it!! Her stories just take me back to a time when life was more simple than it is today. And she is so alive and quirky, sometimes she says the most shocking things!! :-D
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pinup_dream
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2005 06:22:20 PM »

ducktape_diva,

I try to write to my family, but the major problem is the language barrier. I speak Chinese well enough to communicate, but writing is a whole different story. Add on the problem that my dad's side of the family live in a region with HEAVY dialect accents, I feel like sometimes I am just doing the nodding my head and smiling thing when I speak to some family members. I ask them to repeat stuff all the time, but when I have to ask them the fourth or fifth time to say something again, I kinda just give up.


I know what you mean, ming!  My family's from Korea and I'm a first-generation American.  All of my mom's family lives in Korea and I haven't seen them in six years.  A few weeks ago I spoke to my aunt on the phone, and she was asking me if I remembered all the funny things I did with my cousins, and I was doing the nod/smile/uh-huh thing too. 
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