on being very mismatched with a partner

[Antidigger]

I think both of us tried really hard in this swap to please the other, but. There was adequate communication, I can't complain about that, but.

Sigh, my mind is full of buts.  I'll pm the organiser when I can get everything said in a manner that wouldn't offend me.

[World.Of.Hoard-Craft]

i recently joined my first swap (YAY) and was really panicked when i read my partner's questionaire. she likes natural and neutral crafts and colors, I inhereted my grandma's glitter gene LOL. BUT I think my swap partner did a super job in that neither of us has allergies (she has a dog, I have a sometimes-cat).
So, really, the crafting part is becoming a ton of fun for me. I am trying colors and styles I never would have thought of BECAUSE my partner has different tastes.
I think if you're paired up with a more decorative crafter but you like more functional stuff, tell them. Maybe they can make you a pretty shelf to put your goodies on, or some nice embroidered dishtowels. Sort of a middle ground. Then even if it turns out you really can't use it at least the effort was there? or maybe there's a non-home item you'd like, a hat or purse, that can be functional and funky.
I'm sure its difficult to pair up swappers. The swappers themselves might be able to figure out what they can make each other if they met in the middle.

[Cherrylime]

It's always such a craps shot. I've had a swap where the partner and I seemed excellently paired and then, when I received, it was ... less excellent (and if you're one of my former partners and reading this - don't worry, it wasn't you! ). Then I had one where I was certain it would be a disaster and instead I got the most amazing stuff. I've given up on trying to predict the outcome.

I do get stressed on my end when a partner is so unlike me. I may think something I've made is really excellent but will she? It's not like I'd make something that's say, shabby chic for someone who's into ultra modern, sleek stuff but what if my take on ultra modern sucks because it's not something I "get?"

I don't know if there's a good solution. Getting a new partner would require at least two pairs to realize they're incompatible, communicate early, and then be compatible with the new partners. Plus less craft time. And I don't envy the swap organizers for their task - I'm sure in every swap there's the temptation, after hours of trying to get the pieces to fit, to just throw the names in a hat and let luck do the picking.

[ivoryh1632]

. And I don't envy the swap organizers for their task - I'm sure in every swap there's the temptation, after hours of trying to get the pieces to fit, to just throw the names in a hat and let luck do the picking.

hahahahaha, i've only organized once and luckily it was a fairly small group and i had extra time on my hands so i was able to take the time to go through everyone's posted projects and match styles/skill levels that way but you have no idea how bad i wanted to throw them all in a hat when i was down to the last 3 people that i couldnt' get to fit and then my sister sat there the whole time trying to convince me to do just that lol.

[gotgrey]

I've only organized once.  Luckily for me, the group was small.  Everybody fell together quite easily.  But, because of 1 person, the swap dragged on and on.  I had to put a call out for a swap angel.  I found one quickly, and she sent a wonderful angel package quickly.  But, because of all the stress, I will never again organize a swap.  It just isn't worth it.  My only bright spots in that swap were: I made a new friend/the swap angel, I had LOTS of help from my co-organizer, and everybody was happy w/what they received.  I've been very mismatched before.  It made the swaps stressful and uncomfortable for me.  But, I soldiered on, and sent great packages any how, because that is what every one of my partners deserve, a great package, no matter how I feel it.

[AmyLynn98]

I'll be honest...I'm thinking I may be done participating in the swaps. I signed up on CRAFTSTER to do CRAFTING swaps, and I keep getting a ton of store bought items that I could buy on my own. Most of those bought items are kind of weird to send to an adult so I pass those onto my  niece. Plus, one recent swap included an item that was used (no big deal, as I'm into upcycling myself) but it was dirty and smeary and looked like wet, dirty fingers had been all over it and then dried like that.  Even my husband looked at the items and said I got screwed.

[AmyLynn98]

See, THIS is why I do the swaps...to learn or practice something new. I'm not a painter but I did a painting for a swap and I loved the damn thing and I'm my own worst critic. I want to be a better painter so that's why I chose that project to do.

I like being "mismatched"! But, I join swap as a personal challenge. I like to try new things and having a partner makes me work really hard to learn the new skill well and quickly. For my last swap I made a zombie quilt. That's something I NEVER would have dreamed up for myself, but it ended up being one of the coolest things I've ever made, and my partner loved it. I was proud of it because I went way outside my comfort zone to create the finished product.

Perhaps it would help you to think of your "mismatched" swap as a personal challenge. A way for you to grow as an artist in a different direction, a way to step outside your comfort zone? From personal experience, I can tell you it feels awesome when you succeed!

[LadybugsAndBumblebees]

I have to tell you that I've been swapping since 2009(?), and I have had those experiences but they have been few and far in between.  It sounds like you just have had your run of them all at once!   

A suggestion...I do enjoy meeting and swapping with new people on Craftster.  Perhaps after you've been swapping a bit more, make a mental list of who you know you don't want to swap with, and just keep that in mind and PM the organizer of the swaps you sign up for so you're not paired with that/those people again.

Good luck!

[Onyxnox]

I think most people who participate in swaps will experience circumstances at times that are less than ideal - sometimes downright crappy, like being flaked on.  I know it happened to me - I got flaked on my very first swap, and then got screwed over royally in a MAF swap - where there are no angels - I sent out one package, it got "lost" and the post office denied me compensation, as there was notice saying it got delivered - then I sent a extra large package 2, which had all the requirements of package 2, and a make up package for 1 - and then got flaked on for the entire swap.  I seriously was bummed for awhile after that - downright angry actually.  But then I decided that was counterproductive and I was not going to let that person ruin things for me more than they had already - they do not deserve that much thought and power over me.  In fact I signed up to do a couple of angel packages immediately afterward to build up myself again.  Kind of work off the bad energy and vibe so to speak.

But I have been swapping for a couple of years now, and for every 1 or 2 bad experiences, I have had about 9-10 fantastic ones.  I have also decided that, knowing how much it sucks to be flaked on, and how greatful I was to my angel, that I would pay it forward too.

Even better, I gain from it - not so much getting a package in return, but the entire process gives me an opportunity to push my own boundaries of creativity, imagination, experimentation, and ability.  Especially if the partner is different from myself.  That kind of growth is priceless, and I am grateful for the opportunity.

Personally speaking, I would not give up on swapping, but maybe reconsider how you are going at them.  After the last one, I stopped choosing so many large intensive ones for awhile, and did smaller swaps instead - perhaps the size of the swap was intimidating to my partner and overwhelmed her.  Also, less of a committment and possible disappointment to me.

[AmyLynn98]

Mrs Barbara and Onyxnox, thanks for the advice. I think you are both right on how to handle future swaps, because let's be honest...these swaps are addicting as hell!

Have a good day!