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Topic: naked gnome....not for children or work...  (Read 12947 times)
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Tero
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« on: June 01, 2009 11:21:08 AM »

Really hope that I am doing this right because I don't want to offend but I am SURE the mods will step in here in a hurry if I did not post something correctly.
So I am in the fairy swap and my partner wanted a pissed off gnome. Since I was playing with polymer clay I decided that I would try making a grumpy gnome. Not sure why I decided that he needed to be naked but thought it would be funny. SO I thought, might as well give him something to show off if I am going to encase him in the buff for all time. So he is well endowed shall we say. Get him all done and take him to hubby for approval.  Cheesy
"Does he look pissed off?"
Bug eyed and stepping back... Shocked"Ahhh yeah, but I can not for the life of me imagine WHY he would be pissed off"
So major proud of my cute little gnome with a giant member. Pop him in the oven and in a matter of ten min. his weenie (use that term lightly) caught on fire. His face soon followed as you can imagine. Smiley I found out that women for some reason find the idea of a dick catching of fire amazingly funny. Those of you who make candles might want to consider this..
So I spend the entire next day starting from scratch and making a little gnome with a giants parts. Pop him in the oven and all is wonderful. He baked to perfection and I am super proud that I have over come the crafting disaster. The first gnome of course had to be put out of his misery and was given a propper burial.
So hubby comes home and I cant wait for him to see the gnome. He cant wait to see the gnome and I bring him out and show him off with a, look what I can do proud face and hubby starts laughing.  Cheesy and laughing.........and laughing. Now it is funny but not quite that funny....

"What are you laughing so hard at, is something wrong?"
Through tears at this point, hubby slows down to pull in a breath and says "Baby, you put his dick on upside down"
 Shocked  Shocked Shocked
"I DID NOT !!!"....then looking I am not sure...."Show me yours" hee hee, ladies you will not believe how fast a man will share his body parts if only you ask him to. I decided that I needed to make more of these gnomes, ...but I digress.

Sure enough little dude's bits were on upside down. It looked right to me.
Hubby says that now he has a reason to be pissed and besides maybe gnomes have different equipment.
So all was settled and everything was fine. Then one sad morning I came out to the craft room and saw our little naked gnome friend on the floor with his weenie laying sadly right beside him.
Damn it what is it with this gnome and his dick?!! I mean really.
So I look on the bright side, now is my chance to glue it back on the right way. So bust out the liquid polymer clay. Wonder how many times someone has used it to glue a penis back in place, stick his willy back on and pop him in the oven again. Stand there the whole time because obviously a wicked fairy has cursed this poor gnomes bits and I want nothing more to happen to it.
Pull him out and show him to hubby again... hubby just giggles at this point and says...."you did it again"
 Shocked Shocked
Same conversation takes place and same conclusion is reached. So here is my poor little pissed off gnome with his upside down willy. Hope it makes everyone that sees it smile.

 
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You can see a few more pictures of him in my gallery if you want to. Cheeky monkeys.. Wink Cheesy

http://www.craftster.org/pictures/showgallery.php?cat=500&ppuser=124569

Much Peace,
Tero
« Last Edit: June 01, 2009 04:18:55 PM by sweets4ever » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2009 11:33:36 AM »

I dont get it...it looks right to me... did you fix it after he said you did it again???
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Tero
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« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2009 11:39:55 AM »

hee hee nope he is upside down. It's the "firemans" hat so to speak. Instead of looking up he is looking down or visa versa. The pointed tip should be at the bottom and I have him at the top. Maybe the detail doesn't show up in the picture and maybe us girls used to seeing it from a different angle cant tell the difference.  Cheesy
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« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2009 11:42:34 AM »

Oh it's upside down all right!  Cheesy Tero your story made me laugh so hard!

But really, he looks pretty awesome! Wish I could do poly clay that well.
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« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2009 12:00:56 PM »

that is so hilarious!!  I love it!  I can't believe you made that.  He's done wonderfully, even though his willy is upside down.  That story is priceless!
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DanniQuee
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« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2009 12:01:59 PM »

Hahaha! Tero, your story had me laughing so hard! Cheesy

So his willy's upside down, but he's ridiculously endowed, so he shouldn't be so grumpy. Wink I love it!
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« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2009 12:02:52 PM »

Oh my god! That is the funniest thing ever!
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« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2009 12:05:10 PM »

Wish I could have seen the penis fire!  Now that would have been funny!  

Love the story, the pics are funny.  Is he flipping the bird?  Couldn't tell at first that the unit was upside down, but after close inspection  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes yeah, is see it now.  haha.  whatever.  great conversational piece.  See how many people actually notice without telling them!
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« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2009 12:17:42 PM »

ooo ok I see it now!! HAHA I had to compare it though...Your story did make me actually LOL !! so funny!! Smiley
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« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2009 12:30:40 PM »

Hysterical story! made me LOL!  Nice job on the the gnome and his very..*ehem* life like willy. (I won't say 'little' willy as I would hate to piss him off all the more...although! for a gnome he's quite well endowed... Cool Cheesy
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