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Topic: what to make for someone you don't like?  (Read 3125 times)
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abbytail
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shes possesed, and she gets the hiccups.......


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« on: May 26, 2009 07:54:50 AM »

Huh?? Yes it is a weird thing to do or even ask, but this just seems to be my problem.
I really don't like my boyfriends mother and I think she doesn't like me either, but insists on pretending.

My trouble is, she LOVES crafts. And not just crafts, but things made especially for her (so she can go tell everyone how lucky the maker was to be able to make something for her).  Roll Eyes

I like the rest of the family and as a crafty person have made most gifts myself. But not for her. Crafting something for someone who I don't like just doesn't seem possible. I can not do it and end up buying a box of chocolates, again.

I could make something nasty, but my boyfriend doesn't want me to start a row.( I wouldn't care)

So what should I do? What to make for someone you don't like, who (it feels like) demands a handmade gift?  Please help!!
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smittenheart
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Let go of what's already gone..


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« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2009 08:12:45 AM »

first instinct..NOTHING...

but its the BF's mama so maybe a gift card to a craft store..

a picture frame of your BF and her..

a photo pendant with your BF in it..

good luck..
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its ME!!
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will trade some soap for a superhero cape which will be used by the kid in my avatar ^^
beavisfreak
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2009 08:43:13 AM »

well if she loves crafts so much, you should tell HER to make herself something and leave you alone!
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PirateColey
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Craft hound.


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« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2009 09:40:19 AM »


I understand your situation completely! My mother-in-law and I don't particularly like each other, but it's rude to craft for the entire family and not her. I would stick to something that's easy for you to make- don't put a ton of work into something she's not going to appreciate... But still make sure it's something you're proud of- other people who see it will know you're putting forth an effort and that makes you look good. You may want to be mean about it, but remember- she's your BF's mother and if things work out you're going to be stuck with her in your life.

A few ideas:
   -Totes are a good, generic gift that everyone can use (and they're easy to make!).
   -Depending on your location, if you knit/crochet scarves are always a thoughtful gift.
   

No matter what you decide to make- do what I do... I don't think about making the gift for someone I dislike... I look at it as making my husbands life easier. If I put forth the effort then I'm the better person and I'm not the one making things difficult between love and family.

And good luck!
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psycho_happy_kitten
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2009 11:14:39 AM »

I know it's been about 2 months since this thread was posted, but for future reference...

-Tea wallets
-Coasters
-Laptop Sleeve
-Sleeves for other gadgets, such as cell phones, ipods, etc.
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Warning: Attention Deficit Crafter.
morglanc
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hey, are you going to throw that away?


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« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2009 11:47:01 PM »

if it was me, i'd make something nice, that she would like, but make it in a color she doesnt like Smiley  or make a tea wallet and fill it with tea she doesnt like, or potpourri sachets with a scent she hates
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i love personal swaps. i'm looking to swap my art or paper crafts for some re-usable fabric snack bags, fabric sandwich wraps, fabric paper towels, glass pendants, ephemera, or art books.


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Sansa
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Please reinstall universe and reboot


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« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2009 01:35:30 PM »

Is there a pattern you would like to make for some reason but aren't actually interested in the finished object? I make things like this for the OWS sometimes.


Ooh, thats a great pattern/I'd love to learn that technique/that would be perfect for that yarn/fabric I own but don't like as much as I thought I would.

 +

But what would I do with it when I've finished? I'm not girly/it doesn't match my decor/I already own 27 handbags.

 = gift idea.
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KTW
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2009 07:18:35 AM »

It will serve you personally well now and in any potential future / expansion to stretch beyond the meet-halfway position - and determine to not worry whether or not you receive any acceptance back. You cannot change her, but you don't want to play that game.

Absolutely make her something very nice "as if" you're trying to please her. It doesn't matter whether or not it passes any of her judmentalism any more than whether she believes the sky to be blue. When you make something very nice, it is what it is and stands for itself (as in the color blue for the sky) ... and any lack of appreciation (belief) is on her, not on you.

As for getting her style of acceptance, that you're lucky enough to have crafted something "just for her," rephrase it to say you're perceptive and talented enough Wink
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varifiresis
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2009 09:19:19 AM »

I have been in your position too (except that BF's mom is now Mother- In -Law). I agree the impersonal route can be good (I knew you would love this keychain because I see you with keys all the time!) and non confrontational better than buying chocolates at least.
 I like to go for the slightly more personal- for instance around here there is a "red hat society" for older but "still great ladies" usually made up of members in their mid 50s on up. Knowing my MIL was in the right age range but prided herself on being "youthful and with it" -her words not mine- I bought a red hat and tackied it up a bit with ribbons and a couple feathers, like so many of these women wear. I made it truly horrible but well enough done to show the effort I put into it. She of course acted like it was great but it dissappeared into a closet never to be seen again so I think she got the "I am obligated to give you a gift but want to remind you your are a miserable old bat".

If that is too obvious you could always decorate a picture frame and give her a photo of your guy or better yet a shot of both of you together, that way it would be unspeakably rude for her to swap out the photos if she likes the frame yet rude to not display it even if she hates it. Win-Win on that one I'd say.
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margiej
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2009 07:41:42 PM »

i know it been a while since you posted this, but Christmas is coming up and others are in the same situation.  Is she diabetic?  How about a great big assortment of candy and homemade cookies, with new recipe box and cards.  How about a matching tissue box and toilet paper holder, with a toilet seat cover?  How about some of those cloth feminine pads?  Offer to help her make a dress form out of duct tape  You could wrap her (I saw directions on Craftster earlier today in clothing forum)  Unless she is in really good shape, it will be humbling to see her figure in duct tape and every time she fits a garment for herself she will be reminded of you!!!
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Too bad I don't hear voices, I would enjoy the company
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