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Topic: Moral Ettiquette Question  (Read 4035 times)
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JodiJean
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« on: March 31, 2005 09:38:01 AM »

ok, well i didnt know where else to put this, but it kinda has to do with weddings, but not necessarily crafting.

Here is my dilema (i've been having a lot of those lately)  ok, i was married about 2 years ago, a month after we got married my husband was sent overseas to iraq and was gone for 8 months, and we've moved 3 times since he has gotten back.

moral of the story, my thank you notes from the gifts we recieved at the wedding accidentally got packed up (along with the list of who gave us what, so there was no re-doing the notes)  anyways, well we just moved again and finally got to up pack our boxes -- which brings me to my point.  i found the long lost thank-you cards . . . is it too late to send them (2 yrs) would sending them just remind everyone what a loser i am (b/c they probably already forgot that i never sent them a thank-you card) or should i send them anyways? (better late than never?)  if i do send them should i include a letter updating them about our lives, or what?  im completely at a loss, and i've put this off for long enough already.  i have half a mind to just throw them away and stop worrying about them,     


what would you craftistas do in my shoes?

edit:  ok i see the light, i wrote the letter last night, and made the necessary copies today at work, i'll package them up tonight and mail them off tomorrow.  thank you for the wonderful advice, i guess if i were on the other end i would rather have it late than never.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2005 09:22:12 AM by JodiJean » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2005 09:49:10 AM »

I never sent thank you cards for my wedding either, between moving and finding out I was pregnant, there was too much going on and it slipped my mind.  I don't think they are that big of a deal anymore.  Not very many people are in to ettiquette anymore.  If you do feel compelled to send them now though, I would send a letter with it to apologize for the delay and update everyone on what has been happening in your lives since the wedding, and you could even add how you used or are using what was given to you by that person so it will show that you really do like/appreciate their gift.
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« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2005 10:50:26 AM »

Well, Punkygeek is right that people aren't as into the etiquette anymore but to me, that's what makes a thank you card so special, so if it were me, I'd definitely send them, but write a note explaining the delay and gushing a bit about how you love ____ and are using ____ every day/week/month/when you walk the dog/whatever.  I mean, I'm sure the people you are sending to will understand.  It sounds like it's been a busy 2 years.  If it were me, I'd forgive ya (if I had any pent up angst in the first place  Wink  )
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« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2005 10:53:37 AM »

Hi-
I suggest you send them. Better late than never, and you did take the time to write them. I think anyone who knows you will understand that your life is hectic, and will still love you, and will be very pleased to get the thank-you note. I am a stickler for etiquette, I think its saying "Thank you" even if its 2 years later that helps keep us in a civilized world.
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« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2005 11:04:26 AM »

I think you should send them.  Even if they forgot that you didn't send them in the first place it would still be nice to recieve them now.  I like the idea of including a news letter type thing too to update them and let them know why they are so late.  I know in the past where I've attended weddings and not recieved a thank you card I thought it was kind of rude.
This reminds me of one of my friends this year that sent me a christmas card in january because she was too busy before christmas...it was kind of weird, but also nice to recieve.
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melidomi
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« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2005 11:06:05 AM »

I would *definitely* send them.  If they're already sealed, you could just write on the back
'just found this after unpacking from my latest move, sorry it's so late!'
It would be nice to include a personal handwritten note inside each one, but that little notelet on the back would be enough to explain the lateness, and the fact that they were written so long ago.  
I personally think thank you notes, especially for wedding gifts are pretty important.  They let the person know that you actually got the gift (and it didn't get lost somehow) and that you appreciate their effort in getting it for you, and/or sharing your wedding with you.
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« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2005 11:58:44 AM »

I would *definitely* send them.  If they're already sealed, you could just write on the back
'just found this after unpacking from my latest move, sorry it's so late!'
It would be nice to include a personal handwritten note inside each one, but that little notelet on the back would be enough to explain the lateness, and the fact that they were written so long ago.  

I agree! I would send them, for sure.
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« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2005 12:12:03 PM »

send them!  while it's true that people might forget a thank you card you gave them, they most DEFINITELY will remember one you DIDN'T send them.  they each spent time and money to honor your wedding, return the courtesy, even if it's late.
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« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2005 12:33:22 PM »

Definitely send them. People don't forget, even years later. I feel pretty bad when I don't get a thank you card, I always wonder if my gift sucked or what could be wrong. I would be very pleased to get one even 2 years late. I think some stuffy etiquette rules are slipping away but common courtesy and acknowledging gifts will always be the right thing to do.
 Grin
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« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2005 12:37:15 PM »

Haha- I did this! Not 2 years later, but 4 months or so later. I did like spaz_muse suggested and gave examples of exactly what we had used it for, and telling the story of finding them unsent! Even the stuffiest old church ladies loved it and some wrote back saying that they were so glad we had been using their blender/crappy nativity scene/candlestick whatever.
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