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Topic: When your parents won't let you swap...  (Read 2706 times)
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recrdchaos
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« on: May 04, 2009 10:37:55 AM »

This is going to sound so immature. *sigh*

Swapping is something I'd be totally into doing. I LOVE making things for people, I love surprises in the mail, I love getting to know new people...

But I'm 17, so I obviously still live with my parents (well, one of them at a time). I was all excited about the idea of swapping, but I was stupid enough to ask my mum first. This was a bad idea because she sometimes refuses to let me do things automatically, with no reason. It sounds like I'm making that up - but she really does. I have no idea why. She's also a bit paranoid about people on the internet, which is also totally hypocritical because she's on alot of forums herself and I sort of suspect she initially met her boyfriend online.

Anyways, she of course said no, and went off at me about having the whole internet know our address etc, etc. She utterly ignored when I told her that,
a) Only the organizer and my partner would get my address, it's not publicly posted.
b) This is a website where people use pictures of their small children as avatars.
c) Ninety percent of this forum's membership, if not more, is female (I have no problem with guys, but she would).

She then proceeded to tell me (in different words) it's a stupid idea anyways.

But I really want to swap! She's being a bit unreasonable, does anyone have any ideas to make her come around?

TL;DR, my mother, though I love her, can be really difficult to deal with. Suggestions?

(Also, I decided to make a wist just for fun. Can you wist etsy stuff, or will the picture just go away when the etsy sale ends?)
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jungrrl
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« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2009 10:46:19 AM »

Tell her you can get a PO box. Or wait, you're not too far from 18. Those are my only suggestions.
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sweets4ever
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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2009 10:52:25 AM »

I agree with Jungrrl.  You're pretty much at her mercy at this point. Smiley

I don't think b) and c) are great arguments to prove that swapping is safe on any site, though.  You cannot guarantee that someone's avatar accurately represents them, their gender, their intent, etc.  Sorry, I'm a Mom, haha! Cheesy
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recrdchaos
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« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2009 11:08:09 AM »

Sorry, guys, I know I really sound like a whiny kid! It's just extremely frustrating when she won't even listen to me or half the time even talk to me calmly.
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sweets4ever
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« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2009 11:13:15 AM »

No, you're totally okay!  I know it must be frustrating.

You could definitely mention the PO Box idea to her.  I know some swappers use those just for online transactions.
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« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2009 12:20:13 PM »

It's your mom's house.  Her house, her rules.

From your comment "I obviously still live with my parents (well, one of them at a time)" I'm guessing that your parents are separated or divorced?  If that is the case, you could have swap packages delivered to your father's place, assuming he's ok with it.  You could also have packages sent to your mother's or father's place of employment, or you could get a PO box (you have to be 18 to get a PO box, but maybe your mother could get it for you).  Or you could just wait until you're 18... and maybe get a PO box once you've turned 18, if you're still living with your folks then.
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recrdchaos
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« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2009 12:48:59 PM »

I know it's her rules. That's why I always ask her permission to do things, even though I'm legally an adult in Canada (being over sixteen). I'm not asking for ways to circumvent her, I'm asking for ways to convince her.

And my dad WOULD have been okay with it, which is why I'm kicking myself for asking my mum. Now if he said yes she'd be really angry with him, which is no fun for any of us.
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sweets4ever
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« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2009 12:50:35 PM »

Bake her cookies? Cheesy  Mother's Day is coming up.
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alteredmommy
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« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2009 07:58:18 PM »

cookies always edge me closer to a yes Wink  Maybe if you showed her some of the swap galleries on craftster and how friendly everyone is she might warm up to the idea more.  My non crafty friends are always amazed when I show them the site.  Of course they still have a hard time understanding why I make things for people I've never met even while they're envying all the fabulous things I receive from swaps.  But even if she can't wrap her head around the concept, she might realize that its fairly safe and a fun way to spend time considering all the sketchy things one could be up to on the internet.  or life for that matter....
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goosegg1001
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2009 07:50:28 PM »

Ask you mom if she would be ok with it as long as packages were sent to your dads house instead.

Does she have any other reasons aside from 'the whole world' knowing your address?
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