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Topic: lack of acknowledgement of packages  (Read 7626 times)
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astormorray
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« on: March 29, 2009 05:22:22 PM »

So, I'd been on a six month swap hiatus before I started swapping again in January, and I don't know if it's just me, or if there's been a steady creep away from accepted swap etiquette that was, or... I'm just having a series of mediocre experiences?

Right, here's how I expect it to go:

- be assigned partner, PM partner, say, hey, neat to meet you
- ask questions pertinent to crafting
- make item
- send item
- PM partner and organizer about sending item
- partner receives package
- partner PM's me and organizer to say, yes, I have package
- partner posts to gallery thread with picture and excited comments, or if they can't post picture (or can't post right away) they post comments.

but, I have partners who are skipping steps, mostly the posting to gallery.  And at least one other person I've talked to has had similar experiences.  Her package arrived to her partner, but nothing appeared in the gallery, and a week later, she PM'd, and the recipient, is like, oh, yeah, I love it.

But.... Undecided  I mean, the way this works, what isn't posted on the site may as well not exist, yeah?

Anyway, I'm at the end of my swapping rope at this point.  I've been trying to be good humored about it, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I think the next time, I am going to be an angry bitch.

Am I wrong to expect some public acknowledgment of my work?  Is there something amiss in this timeline as I wrote it out?
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« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2009 06:35:44 PM »

I have also had this same experience and have had to post my own pictures for several of the swaps because partners have said they will post later and they still haven't done so.  I am always so proud of my work and getting some sort of recognition is what I am looking for.  I was under the assumption that that is the reason for swapping.  Anyhow, lots of rambling just to say I sympathize with you and hope it does start to get better!
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« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2009 06:59:34 PM »

If you participate in many swaps, it's more than likely you will experience this at one point or another.  On the flip side, you will also participate with some wonderful and overly-thankful members.  In my experience, the good outweighs the bad by far.

I wouldn't recommended responding with anger, though.  The best course of action is to mention something to your Organizer about the lack of pictures posted, post pictures of the items you sent and, if you encounter the same partner again in the future, politely request that the Organizer refrain from partnering you with that person.
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« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2009 08:50:35 PM »

So, I should be keeping a little black book by my computer of people who aren't playing by the rules I'm playing by?

I'm not convinced that is a solution.  I'm sure I'm only really annoyed because it was two people at the same time doing the same thing.   But I'm wondering if it's because they don't know better?  And if no one says anything they'll just waltz along thinking everything is fine, because they send and send on time, but leaving hurt feelings in their wake, because many of us play by some rules that they are not aware of, and we're all going to be too polite to point out that they could be better partners if they just a) PM'd right after or within a day or two of receipt and b) posted a quick note to say how nice things are.

 Undecided  Sorry, guys, been a hard day of tying and retying the warp on the loom.
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« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2009 08:52:00 PM »

Quote
getting some sort of recognition is what I am looking for.
Quote
I have partners who are skipping steps, mostly the posting to gallery..... I ....expect some public acknowledgment of my work

um, not everybody who swaps (or crafts) is into 'public acknowledgement.' For me, crafting (and by extension, swapping) is a private thing. I just don't see/experience crafting as a social event. (And yes, I know it's a contradiction to say that on a crafting social site Grin )

As a sender, I expect, and with very few exceptions have gotten, PMs that the package's been received and they like it (at least, that's what they PMs say, so I take it at face value  Grin )  The only time I go looking to see if my partner posted pics of what I sent is when the organizer doesn't give feedback until they see pics, even though PMs have gone back & forth about packages being sent/received.

As a receiver, I post pics when I can considering I have a inconsistent camera/pc connection. I always PM my partner & organizer that the package's received and how much I like it. If I can, I'll post pics with "it's great" type comments. I have to admit that I don't think to post "I got this great package of xyz but I don't have pics" because it just seems like a tease rather than an acknowledgement.

Quote
I've been trying to be good humored about it, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I think the next time, I am going to be an angry bitch.


I can't tell you what to do (and I'm not), but if I sent someone a PM "hey, I got your package today, it's fantastic!!! I love it, thank you so much!!" and a week later get a angry PM asking why there's  no pics (especially if I've told the partner that pics are iffy), I'm thinking my response will be (a) delete the PM, (b) hide the package away because I'm going to remember that nastiness so the work was wasted, and (c) in future swaps, ask that I not to be paired up with that swapper. And if the PM was nasty enough, I may send it on to a moderator before deleting it.  'Posting pics' isn't one of the responses.
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« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2009 08:54:35 PM »

No need to apologize! Smiley

You could mention something to them in PM, but in a polite manner.  I would never recommend the "angry bitch" concept, though.

Many organizers leave feedback comments mentioning if someone does not post pictures in the gallery.
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« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2009 05:06:13 AM »

Pictures are not the issue.  I can post pictures; I'm happy to do so when asked.  The issue is complete silence on the package.

Also, all I had in mind with the angry bitch thing was just telling people they're hurting my feelings by not saying anything about the package in the gallery or on the swap thread.   Undecided
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« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2009 05:40:11 AM »

I can't tell you what to do (and I'm not), but if I sent someone a PM "hey, I got your package today, it's fantastic!!! I love it, thank you so much!!" and a week later get a angry PM asking why there's  no pics (especially if I've told the partner that pics are iffy), I'm thinking my response will be (a) delete the PM, (b) hide the package away because I'm going to remember that nastiness so the work was wasted, and (c) in future swaps, ask that I not to be paired up with that swapper. And if the PM was nasty enough, I may send it on to a moderator before deleting it.  'Posting pics' isn't one of the responses.


I know in my experience if someone pms and says "Hey, I got your package, love it, but I won't be able to post pictures for a week or two," that's just fine.  But I've had people who didn't tell me they'd gotten the package until I sent a pm several days later to make sure it hadn't gotten lost, and I've had someone who asked me *not* to post pictures because she wanted to do so herself, and then never did.  The former is not a problem, and usually I'll ask if you want me to post pictures if it looks like you're having trouble getting to it.  The latter cases seem rude to me.  Particularly the bit about not sending a "received" pm in a timely manner, since this is written into the swap requirements, and takes less time than opening the box did. 
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« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2009 08:40:11 AM »

Quote from: astormorray
So, I should be keeping a little black book by my computer of people who aren't playing by the rules I'm playing by?

you probably wouldn't be the only person who has a list (mental or otherwise) of people they prefer not to swap with.

Quote from: astormorray
The issue is complete silence on the package.
Quote from: thenate
But I've had people who didn't tell me they'd gotten the package until I sent a pm several days later to make sure it hadn't gotten lost,

Oh, I see - I thought you were talking just about the pics. I agree that complete silence and no acknowledgement at all is no good.

Quote from: astormorray
Also, all I had in mind with the angry bitch thing was just telling people they're hurting my feelings by not saying anything about the package in the gallery or on the swap thread. 
Just thinking how I'd react to a PM saying that - if it was mean-spirited, what I posted last night still applies.  If it was nicely worded, my first reaction would be Huh  Huh but I'd apologize and post about the package.

Quote from: thenate
I've had people who didn't tell me they'd gotten the package until I sent a pm several days later to make sure it hadn't gotten lost, and I've had someone who asked me *not* to post pictures because she wanted to do so herself, and then never did.  .... [ these ] seem rude to me.

True, but I'd give the first person a little slack in case they were offline unexpectedly for a few days.  (OTOH, if they've posted 20 times every day and didn't PM that the package was received, that's a different story Undecided )
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« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2009 03:54:09 PM »

I've had a couple of experiences where I've sent packages that never had photos posted, or even a "I got it and I really liked it... pics soon." And, I agree, it's a bummer, especially since it seems to happen whenever I forget to take pics myself (taking pics before I send usually means my partner ends up posting pics... Wink ). I've also seen it happen to others and feel bad for them, especially if they eventually post pics themselves and they sent an amazing package.

So, when I organize a swap, I make it a stipulation that I won't post feedback until pics are posted, and if they never post (even after I ask them to after a decent amount of time), I make a note of it in their feedback. If they post later, I can always edit the feedback. I feel a little mean doing it, truth be told, but I feel that it's only fair. As the organizer, I'd rather the "hounding" for pics come from me, since I'm the one who put the stipulation in place. Some folks just get caught up in things and need a gentle reminder.

So, I guess the best thing to do is to make sure to take pics yourself, and keep in touch with your partner and your organizer. Constant communication is helpful at reminding folks about the swap, because life can definitely get in the way!
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« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2009 07:09:42 PM »

I agree with you about the ettiquette. Unfortunately everyone thinks differently & there really isn't any way for an organizer to judge personalities in 10 questions or less. I took a break from bigger better quality swaps because of this & the quality of work I was receiving. I honestly don't really care about what I get. I do it more for the experience of trying something new but my SO kept saying honey you keep getting screwed when you spend so much time & money on what you make. So I finally switched to smaller or supply style swaps. I caught myself skimping on what I sent when I was paired with someone who didn't acknowledge/appreciate other people they were paired with previously, so I took a step away for a while. You may need to do that also.
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« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2009 08:26:57 AM »

I can speak to both sides of this. I've done a colossal swap where I worked on a project for months and NEVER got a pic of it so I didn't even have a pic to show my friends who wanted to see. Nor did my partner ever post a pic even though they promised. I've had a few projects like that where I put my all into and there is never a pic posted. I don't craft just for the "oh wow you're amazing!" comments, but I do like to show that I really did do my best for my partner and didn't send garbage. I want people to know I give it my all when they are my partner. It brings me joy to know someone really enjoys what I've given them.

I've also said I'd post a pic in another swap and completely forgot. My partner pmed me with a reminder asking me if I was going to post more pics and I did. I just needed a little nudge. I didn't space  on purpose or because I didn't appreciate it, I'm just scatterbrained occasionally. And it was easily fixed.

I do think mabye should you continue to swap, you could preface it by telling your partner that pictures to you mean something.

I hope your future swapping experiences will be positive.
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« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2009 06:28:39 AM »

I always take photos of what I send. I have my own personal gallery on Flickr that contains pretty much every single swap item I've created in the last... ooh, 2 or 3 years. If a partner doesn't post, then no worries - I can post my own pics.

What will take a while though is thinking up the words to go with it. A simple 'Yes. I love it all' will amply explain what I think of a received parcel, but when placed next to the exuberant and overblown fluff of words that everyone else finds to say, it seems as if I'm just being polite and tactful.
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« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2009 09:10:55 AM »

speaking soley for myself....sometimes i simply forget by the time i log on and finish going through my emails, messages and various boards

its not that i dont care (though sometimes i recieve things i am apathetic about, i still always thank my partner) i am unfortunately kinda flakey *not in a swap way* when it comes to keeping in touch with people (if i dont live with or see someone everyday, i forget to talk to other human beings)

but i accept that it might reflect badly on me to others....not everyone is liked by me either...but i cant really make something happen that my brain forgets (which is actually a side effect of my medication)
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« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2009 09:02:40 PM »

Sending a quick PM to thank the person who sent you a package really isn't asking too much.  Even if there isn't time to post pictures, a PM takes 2 seconds.  I make it my number one priority as soon as I open my package to thank them, and post pictures asap.
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« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2009 07:55:16 AM »

Sending a quick PM to thank the person who sent you a package really isn't asking too much.  Even if there isn't time to post pictures, a PM takes 2 seconds.  I make it my number one priority as soon as I open my package to thank them, and post pictures asap.

no, it isnt asking too much, but i forget to do stuff that i am required to do for family and finance

really, very seriously, my brain loses track of things within minutes sometimes (which is why i have a calendar with reminders everywhere, and why as often as i can i keep the swap packages right next to my computer, so even if there are 5 PMs in this box and 20 emails i have to read first, i wont forget, or at least i am less likely to)
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« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2009 08:11:48 AM »

Sending a quick PM to thank the person who sent you a package really isn't asking too much.  Even if there isn't time to post pictures, a PM takes 2 seconds.  I make it my number one priority as soon as I open my package to thank them, and post pictures asap.

no, it isnt asking too much, but i forget to do stuff that i am required to do for family and finance

really, very seriously, my brain loses track of things within minutes sometimes (which is why i have a calendar with reminders everywhere, and why as often as i can i keep the swap packages right next to my computer, so even if there are 5 PMs in this box and 20 emails i have to read first, i wont forget, or at least i am less likely to)

That wasn't directed at you, just a general rant. Cheesy 

In general, I feel if you have time to open a package, you have time to say thank you.  Since people spend so much time putting togther their swap packages, it's nice to know it got there in one piece.
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« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2009 05:23:47 PM »

No you're totally right.  I've had trouble with things being posted to the galleries.  No matter the excuse reason, I still feel like it wasn't appreciated if the person doesn't take the time to post pics to the gallery.
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« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2009 05:58:35 PM »

No you're totally right.  I've had trouble with things being posted to the galleries.  No matter the excuse reason, I still feel like it wasn't appreciated if the person doesn't take the time to post pics to the gallery.

That's the chance you take on swaps, sometimes they are awesome, and sometimes not so much. Wink
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« Reply #19 on: June 11, 2009 03:05:26 PM »

Well, Ms. Disney, I am sorry for your medication interfering with that. I can totally relate. I HAVE seen pictures of your craft space, and you are so organized, I guess this is why. LOL

I had to understand that a partner of mine never posted their items for a personal swap, and from now on I will take pictures. That swapper through communications will be sending their package soon I hope.

BUT, sometimes people can respond because of camera issue or personal issues/situations. Just pm them and ask if everything is alright. I'm patient but will be taking pics of stuff. I just get spacey (ms disney) and forget in the excitement of getting a package together. I've only done personals, and usps has only lost one package so far, but that partner was exceptionally understanding and passing my way soon, so I can fulfill my end of the bargain.

I am now in my first organized swap and you better believe I am going to post pics of what my partner sends me. I don't have crafted items but from one other swapper, and it was awesome. I've been doing the supply stash busting as well.
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« Reply #20 on: June 11, 2009 03:28:54 PM »

one both sides of teh fence  here  I am scatter brained and have forgotten to post pics. (in teh swap I was organizing at that!)  BUT  as soon as I got a reminder I posted and I ALWAYS  send a thank you when I receive adn post int eh thread or gallery that I did.  it is not good "craftster style"  to not be appreciative. even if teh work is less than you might send.  it may be that persons best so be thankful!!!  and if you don't have time to post pics please request the sender to!!
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« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2009 07:44:22 PM »

oh my, i always eventually post a thank you and pictures, my point was that i dont always remember right away...

and yea, i have to be organized or chaos ensues....actually, ever since google introduced tasks it has been a renaissance for me, i am accomplishing a ton more and i get everything done well ahead of time..intead of a week before i am supposed to mail (again, forgetful)

i definitely think someone should say thank you, i just dont think that everyone means offense if the thank you doesnt come right away
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« Reply #22 on: June 12, 2009 05:54:11 AM »

Oh, but jloveg, all your packages are wonderful. Right? Wink

You are right, you do need to send a thanks no matter what.
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« Reply #23 on: June 12, 2009 06:20:03 AM »

Oh, but jloveg, all your packages are wonderful. Right? Wink

You are right, you do need to send a thanks no matter what.


LOL  at least the ones I receive  are!  LOL  and  I sure try!   yours is almost there woo hoo
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« Reply #24 on: June 20, 2009 09:37:44 PM »

Here's a question:  What is the accepted etiquette for thanking someone for a package?  The day they receive?  The next day? Huh
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« Reply #25 on: June 20, 2009 09:47:14 PM »

Here's a question:  What is the accepted etiquette for thanking someone for a package?  The day they receive?  The next day? Huh
i would say within a day, but some people dont log on everyday, so i would check their last log in

also, dont think they hated it cos they didnt log on...or PM right away
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« Reply #26 on: June 20, 2009 09:50:50 PM »

It's just the second swap in a row where the package has been received, and a few days have gone by with no response.  It just makes you not want to swap anymore if this is the result. Tongue
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« Reply #27 on: June 20, 2009 10:07:36 PM »

its just one of those things that might happen when you swap

there have been a couple of times i wanted to throw in the towel, but i always get sucked back in.....lol
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« Reply #28 on: July 14, 2009 09:56:57 PM »

It's just the second swap in a row where the package has been received, and a few days have gone by with no response.  It just makes you not want to swap anymore if this is the result. Tongue

Make that the third swap where this has happenned.  Plus it was a multi-partner swap so THREE people didn't communicate. Tongue
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« Reply #29 on: July 15, 2009 08:58:43 AM »

I think it's rude, personally, but I have a couple of cousins who do the same thing with birthday/Christmas gifts.   Roll Eyes  Going forward, I'm thinking of making a pop quiz section to reinforce the idea that it is expected you post pics & thank the person promptly and to do otherwise will be noted in their feedback.  I might just make a note of it in the feedback anyway when people haven't posted pics in my current swaps.

That said, it is summer, and people take vacations so it is possible that even if the mail says it's received, they may not be able to log in right away.  I'd give them a few days.  I always appreciate it when people tell me they're going out of town/on vacation, but I've had a couple of swaps where someone has disappeared to pop up a week later & say they were on vacation & forgot to mention it.   Undecided 
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« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2012 07:02:01 PM »

Boy, do I know this feeling..I'm here looking at these old posts because I lost my temper, which I have never done before, and may have been a touch rude because of it. I've been a late sender once or twice in my time, and I have taken a week to post pics before...but I have worked really hard to change that, and to make sure I always keep everyone informed, send on time and pm everyone for everything at every stage. I get steamed when my partner doesn't extend me the same courtesy. Like many have said: no one twists our arms into joining swaps. We sign up of our own free will and agree to abide by the rules.
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« Reply #31 on: February 11, 2012 10:05:09 AM »

Not acknowledging is not cool.  My opinion is that if you have time to log on and join a swap, make a package, and ship it...you can log on and tell your partner and the organizer that you received.  That the bare minimum.  Now as far as how soon after it has arrived...I give about a few days before I start PMing. I know people are busy.  Heck, I'm busy.  I get it.  BUT for the love of all things crafty, it doesn't take that much effort to PM folks and let them know. 

Pics...while its nice if people post them, I always take my own so I can and will post them myself if necessary. 

HOWEVER, a side note about this whole acknowledgement thing.  For some swaps, not acknowledging isn't just rude, its disruptive to the swap.  Several craftster swaps (OWS, Pinterest...ongoing types where you "claim" your partner) are set up so that the person who sent to you CANNOT claim again until you have acknowledged that you received. So its doubly insulting to the sender who then has to hound the person to find out if he/she received in order to claim again. And yes, if you have a DC it can help but not all packages are shipped within the US and not all Post Offices are good about using them.  I don't know.  I just feel its easy.  1. Receive a package.  2. At the very least PM your partner.  It'd be nice if you'd PM the organizer too but at the very least let someone know. 
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« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2012 04:06:49 PM »

I'd like to note that if you receive in a swap you do need to pm your organizer as well as your partner.  Your organizer needs to know in order to update your partner's feedback and like everyone says, it really is polite to thank your partner and let them know that you have received their package.  Communication makes for a much more pleasant swap for everyone Smiley
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