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Topic: lack of acknowledgement of packages  (Read 5909 times)
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astormorray
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« on: March 29, 2009 05:22:22 PM »

So, I'd been on a six month swap hiatus before I started swapping again in January, and I don't know if it's just me, or if there's been a steady creep away from accepted swap etiquette that was, or... I'm just having a series of mediocre experiences?

Right, here's how I expect it to go:

- be assigned partner, PM partner, say, hey, neat to meet you
- ask questions pertinent to crafting
- make item
- send item
- PM partner and organizer about sending item
- partner receives package
- partner PM's me and organizer to say, yes, I have package
- partner posts to gallery thread with picture and excited comments, or if they can't post picture (or can't post right away) they post comments.

but, I have partners who are skipping steps, mostly the posting to gallery.  And at least one other person I've talked to has had similar experiences.  Her package arrived to her partner, but nothing appeared in the gallery, and a week later, she PM'd, and the recipient, is like, oh, yeah, I love it.

But.... Undecided  I mean, the way this works, what isn't posted on the site may as well not exist, yeah?

Anyway, I'm at the end of my swapping rope at this point.  I've been trying to be good humored about it, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I think the next time, I am going to be an angry bitch.

Am I wrong to expect some public acknowledgment of my work?  Is there something amiss in this timeline as I wrote it out?
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« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2009 06:35:44 PM »

I have also had this same experience and have had to post my own pictures for several of the swaps because partners have said they will post later and they still haven't done so.  I am always so proud of my work and getting some sort of recognition is what I am looking for.  I was under the assumption that that is the reason for swapping.  Anyhow, lots of rambling just to say I sympathize with you and hope it does start to get better!
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sweets4ever
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« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2009 06:59:34 PM »

If you participate in many swaps, it's more than likely you will experience this at one point or another.  On the flip side, you will also participate with some wonderful and overly-thankful members.  In my experience, the good outweighs the bad by far.

I wouldn't recommended responding with anger, though.  The best course of action is to mention something to your Organizer about the lack of pictures posted, post pictures of the items you sent and, if you encounter the same partner again in the future, politely request that the Organizer refrain from partnering you with that person.
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astormorray
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« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2009 08:50:35 PM »

So, I should be keeping a little black book by my computer of people who aren't playing by the rules I'm playing by?

I'm not convinced that is a solution.  I'm sure I'm only really annoyed because it was two people at the same time doing the same thing.   But I'm wondering if it's because they don't know better?  And if no one says anything they'll just waltz along thinking everything is fine, because they send and send on time, but leaving hurt feelings in their wake, because many of us play by some rules that they are not aware of, and we're all going to be too polite to point out that they could be better partners if they just a) PM'd right after or within a day or two of receipt and b) posted a quick note to say how nice things are.

 Undecided  Sorry, guys, been a hard day of tying and retying the warp on the loom.
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ThreadOrYarn
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« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2009 08:52:00 PM »

Quote
getting some sort of recognition is what I am looking for.
Quote
I have partners who are skipping steps, mostly the posting to gallery..... I ....expect some public acknowledgment of my work

um, not everybody who swaps (or crafts) is into 'public acknowledgement.' For me, crafting (and by extension, swapping) is a private thing. I just don't see/experience crafting as a social event. (And yes, I know it's a contradiction to say that on a crafting social site Grin )

As a sender, I expect, and with very few exceptions have gotten, PMs that the package's been received and they like it (at least, that's what they PMs say, so I take it at face value  Grin )  The only time I go looking to see if my partner posted pics of what I sent is when the organizer doesn't give feedback until they see pics, even though PMs have gone back & forth about packages being sent/received.

As a receiver, I post pics when I can considering I have a inconsistent camera/pc connection. I always PM my partner & organizer that the package's received and how much I like it. If I can, I'll post pics with "it's great" type comments. I have to admit that I don't think to post "I got this great package of xyz but I don't have pics" because it just seems like a tease rather than an acknowledgement.

Quote
I've been trying to be good humored about it, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I think the next time, I am going to be an angry bitch.


I can't tell you what to do (and I'm not), but if I sent someone a PM "hey, I got your package today, it's fantastic!!! I love it, thank you so much!!" and a week later get a angry PM asking why there's  no pics (especially if I've told the partner that pics are iffy), I'm thinking my response will be (a) delete the PM, (b) hide the package away because I'm going to remember that nastiness so the work was wasted, and (c) in future swaps, ask that I not to be paired up with that swapper. And if the PM was nasty enough, I may send it on to a moderator before deleting it.  'Posting pics' isn't one of the responses.
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sweets4ever
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« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2009 08:54:35 PM »

No need to apologize! Smiley

You could mention something to them in PM, but in a polite manner.  I would never recommend the "angry bitch" concept, though.

Many organizers leave feedback comments mentioning if someone does not post pictures in the gallery.
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astormorray
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« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2009 05:06:13 AM »

Pictures are not the issue.  I can post pictures; I'm happy to do so when asked.  The issue is complete silence on the package.

Also, all I had in mind with the angry bitch thing was just telling people they're hurting my feelings by not saying anything about the package in the gallery or on the swap thread.   Undecided
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thanate
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« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2009 05:40:11 AM »

I can't tell you what to do (and I'm not), but if I sent someone a PM "hey, I got your package today, it's fantastic!!! I love it, thank you so much!!" and a week later get a angry PM asking why there's  no pics (especially if I've told the partner that pics are iffy), I'm thinking my response will be (a) delete the PM, (b) hide the package away because I'm going to remember that nastiness so the work was wasted, and (c) in future swaps, ask that I not to be paired up with that swapper. And if the PM was nasty enough, I may send it on to a moderator before deleting it.  'Posting pics' isn't one of the responses.


I know in my experience if someone pms and says "Hey, I got your package, love it, but I won't be able to post pictures for a week or two," that's just fine.  But I've had people who didn't tell me they'd gotten the package until I sent a pm several days later to make sure it hadn't gotten lost, and I've had someone who asked me *not* to post pictures because she wanted to do so herself, and then never did.  The former is not a problem, and usually I'll ask if you want me to post pictures if it looks like you're having trouble getting to it.  The latter cases seem rude to me.  Particularly the bit about not sending a "received" pm in a timely manner, since this is written into the swap requirements, and takes less time than opening the box did. 
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« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2009 08:40:11 AM »

Quote from: astormorray
So, I should be keeping a little black book by my computer of people who aren't playing by the rules I'm playing by?

you probably wouldn't be the only person who has a list (mental or otherwise) of people they prefer not to swap with.

Quote from: astormorray
The issue is complete silence on the package.
Quote from: thenate
But I've had people who didn't tell me they'd gotten the package until I sent a pm several days later to make sure it hadn't gotten lost,

Oh, I see - I thought you were talking just about the pics. I agree that complete silence and no acknowledgement at all is no good.

Quote from: astormorray
Also, all I had in mind with the angry bitch thing was just telling people they're hurting my feelings by not saying anything about the package in the gallery or on the swap thread. 
Just thinking how I'd react to a PM saying that - if it was mean-spirited, what I posted last night still applies.  If it was nicely worded, my first reaction would be Huh  Huh but I'd apologize and post about the package.

Quote from: thenate
I've had people who didn't tell me they'd gotten the package until I sent a pm several days later to make sure it hadn't gotten lost, and I've had someone who asked me *not* to post pictures because she wanted to do so herself, and then never did.  .... [ these ] seem rude to me.

True, but I'd give the first person a little slack in case they were offline unexpectedly for a few days.  (OTOH, if they've posted 20 times every day and didn't PM that the package was received, that's a different story Undecided )
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« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2009 03:54:09 PM »

I've had a couple of experiences where I've sent packages that never had photos posted, or even a "I got it and I really liked it... pics soon." And, I agree, it's a bummer, especially since it seems to happen whenever I forget to take pics myself (taking pics before I send usually means my partner ends up posting pics... Wink ). I've also seen it happen to others and feel bad for them, especially if they eventually post pics themselves and they sent an amazing package.

So, when I organize a swap, I make it a stipulation that I won't post feedback until pics are posted, and if they never post (even after I ask them to after a decent amount of time), I make a note of it in their feedback. If they post later, I can always edit the feedback. I feel a little mean doing it, truth be told, but I feel that it's only fair. As the organizer, I'd rather the "hounding" for pics come from me, since I'm the one who put the stipulation in place. Some folks just get caught up in things and need a gentle reminder.

So, I guess the best thing to do is to make sure to take pics yourself, and keep in touch with your partner and your organizer. Constant communication is helpful at reminding folks about the swap, because life can definitely get in the way!
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