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Topic: It will be a hard Christmas for some  (Read 4375 times)
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allyinthevalley
« on: December 02, 2008 03:09:37 PM »

So, I considered not posting this at all. But it occurred to me that it might serve as an encouragement to some and as a way to spread awareness for others. Then I considered not posting until I was completely done, but it won't do any good by that point. So I'm posting it now.

This year my husband and I had a miscarriage. There are a LOT of people out there that don't think that's a big deal, but mostly those people have never gone through one. For many, many women and their significant others, a miscarriage is an incredibly painful and traumatic experience, NO MATTER HOW FAR ALONG IN THE PREGNANCY THEY WERE.

My miscarriage gave me a chance to come in contact with a lot of other women who went through the same thing. And for those women who have had a miscarriage or infant death in this past year, the holidays are proving to be a difficult time. Most of us don't have any family or close friends that recognize this, or any tangible way to remember our lost loves.

That's why I made these stockings. First one for my baby, then more for the women that I have met who went through the same thing. (Each of them requested a stocking and they were made to their specifications.) I have several more that still have to be made. I know they're nothing wonderful, but for us they mean a lot. It's good for us to remember, and it's good to know that somebody else cares.








So I'm posting this in the hopes that I might open the eyes of some. Please, if you know someone who has lost a pregnancy or a baby in this year, please know that most (though, I admit, not ALL) women in their situation are smiling on the outside and crying on the inside. Please consider doing something for them in memory of their baby, so that they know that they are not alone and that they are not crazy for feeling the way that they do. I've been lucky enough to find a GREAT support group. Most women haven't. I know that everyone on this site is so talented and creative. Please think of using that this year for people who are hurting.

Off my rant now. Wink
« Last Edit: December 02, 2008 03:11:01 PM by allyinthevalley » THIS ROCKS   Logged

Quinkes
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2008 03:41:01 PM »

How lovely, my thoughts are with you. I may make one for my little heart baby.
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TheSleepyKnitter
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2008 03:55:20 PM »

Lovely stockings for sad hearts. Thank you for sharing.
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Adopting second "special needs" international baby, wanting cloth diapers to help cut expenses, will ===SWAP for cloth diapers===.
zuliblu
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2008 04:08:56 PM »

I am so sorry  Cry for your loss, what an amazing thing that you have done.  Your stockings radaite comfort.  I had two miscarriages before my first child was born, I was devastated.  I remember after the first miscarriage I went back to work and one of my co-workers said "well, back to the drawing board I guess".  At that time I was really hurt by that comment, but now after losing my youngest son one week before his 19th birthday, I've come to realize that some people just do not know what to say.  I had many people who were very supportive and demonstrated that with comforting words and support, and some who didn't say anything like it never happened because it made them so uncomfortable. 
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aada
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« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2008 04:19:05 PM »

it made them so uncomfortable. 

i think this is a major truth: either the person is uncomfortable, or has no frame of reference because they have never had death hit close to home yet...

zuliblu-we lost my brother roughly 2 weeks before his 19th birthday. it is utterly horrid.
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smrfchic
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2008 04:22:44 PM »

That's a very touching thing to make.  It's been almost a year since my miscarriage, and it really does make the holiday season a little bit harder, realizing that our baby would have been almost 4 months old and celebrating his or her first Christmas with us.  {{{{hugs to all}}}}
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~*~ Sadie ~*~
Oh, for corn's sake!
Bourtney
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2008 04:42:25 PM »

What an amazing person you are... I literally can't find words to describe how admirable this is. You will give comfort to many people, and you are truly an inspiration  Smiley
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n u l l g a l
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2008 04:52:11 PM »

This really made me cry. I've lost two, and they were very early. A lot of people don't even consider that a miscarriage. I think about them (the babies) often and try to reach out to those who have gone through similar, and often very painful situations. When my sister in law lost one last May, she tried really hard to "get over it" and didn't really allow herself to grieve. I applaud your craft and not only are they lovely, theyre so very meaningful. Nice work. Smiley
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Fear not, for I am with you.
Is. 41:10
allyinthevalley
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2008 05:03:33 PM »

Thank you all for replying. I'm so happy to see that this post has touched some hearts.  Smiley
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keeperrox
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2008 05:10:41 PM »

What a beautiful sentiment.  Your friends are lucky to have you.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2008 05:14:07 PM by keeperrox » THIS ROCKS   Logged
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