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Topic: IS criticism NOT ok?  (Read 18569 times)
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SewMamaLady
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« Reply #40 on: February 23, 2009 09:29:31 AM »

The internet is full of places where people will tear you apart for the mildest thing. It's fun to make your own clothes and it's very intimidating. Sometimes some encouragement is all someone needs to make their next project better. I've seen plenty of people offer up advice. If I came across a thread that had someone telling a curvaceous Craftster that her lovingly handmade outfit was hideous and a waste of time, I'd be APPALLED. Some people can be really hurt by mild criticisms even if they ask for it. Why ruin Craftster by turning it into one of those places?
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« Reply #41 on: February 23, 2009 09:33:33 AM »

Go for it!
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Lody
« Reply #42 on: February 23, 2009 09:35:31 AM »

Wouldn't it be very helpful if we had a system like deviantart, where you can select like, harsh constructive criticism (you're planning to make the thing again/are still working on it and want to know anything bad), constructive criticism welcomed (you won't get offended by criticism but "it's cute!" posts are welcomed), and no criticism (you're done with it, you like it, and that's that) ?  And one of the option has to be chosen, so people don't have to feel like they are doing a disservice not warning the poster, but they don't offend or bother anyone either.

(that said, I agree, sometimes I just have to grab someone irl/non-craftster and go "this is HORRIBLE LOOK!" because that's really my opinion, and 10 people have said they loved it. of course I would never say it, all the less in those terms, to the poster xD )
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« Reply #43 on: February 23, 2009 09:36:49 AM »

You look great! Not to mention very confident and happy...I think regarless of what you look like there will always be people who are ready to point out something they see as wrong..So what the hell i say, as long as nmber one is happy that's all that counts...Much better than millions of celeb clones trapsing the streets.The world needs more people like you.
 The outfit reminds me of Tank Girl with the suspenders, freaking rocks I love it! Rock on Cheesy
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IamSusie
« Reply #44 on: February 23, 2009 09:53:51 AM »

I think that if a person shows a project, and they actually say something like, "I stitched this up, but look how it bunches up at the waist. Do you think that is a problem?"  Invites a critique.  Simply posting something in the completed projects is just sharing for the fun of sharing and not an invitation to criticism.

I don't really understand why people care if other people praise a project that they themselves don't like.  I mean... I often think that clothing is cut way to short or tight, but I don't feel like it is my business to say so, unless the sewer has asked, "My mother thinks this is too short, what do you think?"  What a dull world this would be if everyone wore the same styles and cuts of clothing!

I applaud anyone who has made any attempt to sew or make something on their own and I think it is doubly awesome if they are brave enough to photograph their work and share it with other people.

I think we have a pretty good system over here at Craftster.  Deviant Art has their system, which I suppose is a more critical artists' community.  They have their thing, and we have ours.   Wink
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geek_goddess
« Reply #45 on: February 23, 2009 10:04:28 AM »

This is me, all 238lbs of me:

(cut img for post size)

There are probably people here who think that a 238lb woman shouldn't be wearing a skirt that ridiculously short and see-through. I think I look damn hot. I felt a million dollars' worth of gorgeous that night, and that photo makes me smile every time I see it.

Some people are comfortable with the way they look. Some people have a different concept of style to others. Some people want to accentuate things that others find unattractive. It's valid.

You loot hot, and more importantly you FEEL hot. Self esteem is such a problem with women of all sizes. I know personally even at size 10 (30 waist or so) I struggle with feeling sexy and wouldn't be able to pull off an outfit like that due to lack of confidence. Feeling confident you look hot is what makes a person sexy, more so than any attribute of body, face or hair.
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rockmygypsysoul
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« Reply #46 on: February 23, 2009 10:16:19 AM »

you DO look hot!!

I think, as a lot of people have said, that if someone ASKS for criticism, or even just a "does this look okay?", then its okay to say something, but make it something constructive - "I think it's a little distracting from the dress when you see that much of your back...maybe you could restructure it so it hits about two inches higher", etc.

if someone doesnt ask, then appreciate the garment as it is, regardless of how it looks on a person.

just this past weekend i made my very first recon ever based on the anthropologie cardigan tute and you bet your butt it clung to my boobs too much and accentuated my cleavage.  but it was for our anniversary date to go over a special dress and i made it and i was proud cause i dont have a clue about sewing, plus i looked pretty freakin hot for me.  and i know thats different cause it wasnt unflattering, but sure, i probably showed too much cleavage.  but thats the same issue - sometimes its a matter of unflattering, sometimes it a matter of "taste." 

obviously, if someone just has different taste and thinks showing off themselves is okay, your criticism isnt going to change it.  plus, quite honestly, theres enough negativity for plus sized girls that when one feels sexy enough to show off, i usually am the first to say 'go for it!' alternatively, if its simply unflattering and someone has asked for opinions, I think its totally okay to give them, as long as its done tactfully and helpfully!
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« Reply #47 on: February 23, 2009 10:25:46 AM »

I think we have a pretty good system over here at Craftster.  Deviant Art has their system, which I suppose is a more critical artists' community.  They have their thing, and we have ours.   Wink

I agree. Smiley
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TracyInNH
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« Reply #48 on: February 23, 2009 10:49:24 AM »

Go girl.
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brokenporcelaindoll
« Reply #49 on: February 23, 2009 11:06:28 AM »

Hmmm... I dunno,

Unless someone specifically says "I don't like my arms/tummy/butt/thighs and am worried this top emphasises X/Y/Z" or "I am worried it might be a little immodest for my size/shape/whatever", I would stick to critiquing the garment only.

Personally, I have struggled with serious self esteem issues re: my size and shape since I was a 4'10" foot tall, 10 stone 36E cup at age hmmm... 13?  People called me a little gnome!  (And still do actually, except now I think it is funny too!).  Now I am a 5'2", 36G, probably 12 or 13 stone-ish, 25 year old, I have learned to see myself as I am and not compare myself to photoshopped and unhealthy ideals.  As a result, I have learned to accept and even love my body - including the "flaws".  When I was younger, if I had got up the courage to post a picture of myself online wearing something I had made, being told that it was unflattering would have really upset me - would have sent me back into the spirals of disordered eating and starvation and making myself ill from malnutrition and self harm and wearing baggy clothes and hiding. 

These days I would just find it presumptious, but the fact is that we don't know what might be going on in the head of a person on here.  How awful would you feel if you found out later that the person whom you had told "shouldn't wear" short skirts because it is "unflattering" for their large thighs was a recovering bullimic, who had perhaps started engaging on here to try and boost their own self confidence self esteem?

For that reason, I would be extremely wary of saying anything that wasn't positive, unless specifically asked.  And really, I don't know about you, but I would rather have that sort of advice from someone I am actually close to and know well.

I think for me the thing is, when someone on a craft site asks for criticism, they are asking for criticism of the work, not how they look in it.  At least, I would assume so unless specifically stated.  People in public will say nasty things about someone whatever - so telling someone a top is unflattering will not protect them from the cruelty of strangers, even if they do take your fashion advice.

For example, when I say "I made this top, I've never added a lining/lace edging/buttons/a zip before!  C+C welcome".  I am asking whether or not the lining/lace/buttons/zip whatever looks right, how I can improve the garment, etc.  I am not asking "so does it make my gut look big(ger)?".  Grin

Wow, sorry I seem to have waffled a bit.  Embarrassed Oops!  Roll Eyes
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