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Topic: I really dont know what to do :(  (Read 1373 times)
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craftyazgirl
« on: September 21, 2008 09:35:04 PM »

ok so my best friend since we were 5 years old was having a baby! i was so so super excited i was making this star blanket for her.  When she was 6 months prego they lost the baby.  She is devestated and was in perfect health and took all precautions.  I know she and her husband are devastated and i am totally heartbroken also. I live 700 miles away and i just dont know what to do.  do i finish the blanket?   save it? i really really dont know what to do Sad
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cinnamon teal
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2008 09:45:31 PM »

I'm so sorry.

I think it would be nice for you to finish the blanket and donate it.  Hospitals often accept blankets for newborns and premies.  Also, a shelter for domestic violence victims would be happy to pass it along to a mom and her baby.
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« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2008 09:45:51 PM »

I would finish it and send it. When is a better time to have a blanket to snuggle with?
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julianapegas
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2008 09:50:31 PM »

That's such a sad thing to hear! My sympathies for them...

Do you know if they're going to try again?  There are many couples that lose a baby once but end up being successful in another try (and I hope it will be their case).

I think you should save the blanket for a while, hopefully you'll have the opportunity to give it to them in the future!

If they don't, you can reuse the yarn or finish it up for donation.

edit: forgot to mention, it's beautiful! I love star shapes! ^^
« Last Edit: September 21, 2008 09:52:19 PM by julianapegas » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2008 10:34:21 PM »

my mom lost my baby sister when i was 6... even though i was fairly young, i still remember it being tough for the family and really tough for her and my dad... i'm so sorry.

i wouldn't send it now, unless she says she'd like it. it may be too hard for them to see baby things for the baby they don't have anymore.

i'd keep it for a little while - if they have another baby, i would finish it with a complimentary color - a different shade of purple, or something. then include a note that says you started it for the first baby, but are finishing it in a new color for the second.

my thinking is, if they're anything like my parents, they're not going to want to forget their first child. my mom wrote letters to my sister every year for a while, just as her way of coping. the blanket with two colors might be a nice way to remember/honor/celebrate both kids.
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« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2008 10:43:40 PM »

ooh I like the two color idea! That is perfect!
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Linda P
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2008 11:18:14 PM »

I would finish it.  Do it big enough for her to snuggle in.  You are not going to cause any more heartache with it.  People do not want to talk about a loss like this, they just want to pretend it never happened.  This will give her something to help heal.
JMHO,
Linda P
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« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2008 11:24:47 PM »

You'd be surprised how many women conceive within a month of having a miscarriage.  It happened to my sister-in-law, and her doctor explained that it happens fairly often because the body is already prepared with pregnancy hormones. 

I would continue the blanket, and hopefully it will be for a new baby, but if not it would be a wonderful gift just for her.  I wouldn't mention that it was intended for the baby though.
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« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2008 12:24:19 AM »

oh hugs for your friend, I can't imagine how hard that must be.

Finish it and ask her what she wants to do. I would go through some of the fabulous options the other ladies have mentioned, that way she knows you thought of the child to be and can decide what she can handle at this point.
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« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2008 04:27:03 AM »

I had a similar situation happen to me. The recipient knew what I was making her and I knew that I just could not give it to her when she finally did have a baby (which ended up being a year later)  I finished the blanket and donated it.
A premie ward would probably love it.  They collect blankets and give them to the parents.
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I am collecting quilts, afghans & blankets for those that lost their homes.  Pm me!
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