A Crafts Community For Craft Ideas & DIY Projects - Craftster.org
Help | About | Contact | Press | Advertise | Terms | Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
Please login or register.
Random Tip: If you see a project that you think is awesome and deserves to be a featured project, you can click the THIS ROCKS button to nominate it!
Total Members: 301,981
Currently Running With Scissors:
614 Guests and 21 Users
Home Craftster Community Crafting Articles Craft Tutorials My Craftster Crafting Calendar City Guides Craft Shop


Pages: [1]
Jump to page:
  Show Images Only     Send this topic  |  Print  |  Bookmark  
Topic: The polite way to deal with a craft mooch?  (Read 1679 times)
Tags for this thread:  Add new tag
Share the love... Pin it Submit to reddit add to Wists
1+
 
Fried Gold
Rude and Ginger
Offline Offline

Posts: 164
Joined: 03-Aug-2007

Go Team Venture!


View Profile
« on: July 23, 2008 08:50:36 AM »

I have a friend for whom I have done countless crafty favors over the years, and I never expected anything in return except a"thank you." However, I never even got one of those!

What really bothers me is that I have asked her to do simple things for me in the past, little things that don't require time and effort at all, but she has always ignored the requests. A few months ago, I sent her a treat and promised myself that unless she said, "thank you," that was it, the favor train was rolling out of town. She never did. It had.

But today, upon seeing one of my WIPs, she has asked that I make her one as well! Angry I'm so angry that I can't even think straight. Part of me wants to tell her to fuck off. Part of me wants to say that I've done A, B, and C for her without so much as a thank you; and tell her that I think she takes advantage of the kindness of others (I'm not her only friend that she has done this to). Part of me says the polite thing to do would be to say that I don't knit for non-knitters anymore because they don't appreciate it. And part of me just wants to ignore her.

Anyway, my question is. Do you have any friends like this? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Feel free to vent! Wink

THIS ROCKS   Logged

"Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts; you can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try."
Aislynn
Friend of Craftster Friend of Craftster

Offline Offline

Posts: 3799
Joined: 25-Oct-2007

View Profile
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2008 11:23:02 AM »

I usually just say no.  Get that whole Nancy Reagan thing working.  When asked why, the answers are usually, in this order:  I'm not skilled enough to make one that someone else would closely inspect/have to live with, that craft takes too much time/valuable materials that I can't afford not to be compensated for it/them, and finally, and this is the most brutally honest:  I enjoy crafting because at the end of it, I have this new thing that's pretty and personal, and I can wear it and be proud that I made it...and crafting for others, particularly on a deadline, doesn't give me the same joy (this one is, naturally, reserved for those who want something just because they see it, but the instant they have their own, it gets tossed into a closet, forgotten and unloved...which really bites my toes).

At the same time, I do a lot of crafting for friends, I do a lot of requests, and I love making things for people who I know are going to appreciate them...but when the above situations apply, I'm honest about them.  And if they want something that I simply don't feel like making, I offer to teach them the craft, and we can make -insert thing here- together.
THIS ROCKS   Logged

Sewers are for ninja turtles--seamstresses are for sewing Wink

My wist!  http://www.wists.com/aislynn
AGFH
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2008 06:29:03 PM »

I would reply with a snotty "Nah, no one ever appreciates it or even says thanks so I no longer make anything for anyone."
Seriously, I would.
THIS ROCKS   Logged

I was off to save the world....until I was distracted by something shiny.
SpottedFrog
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2008 07:57:07 AM »

Agreed.
Personally I make it clear my skills come with a pricetag, so when I do make something for someone they really do appreciate it because they know they would not have normally got said item from free.

I'm also not afraid to say no, even to close relatives, friends & people from church.

More than once I've been called on a Friday afternoon and asked to make/ repair something to be used Sunday morning. Mind you, these weren't big productions, just the person asking had an idea & I sew kind of thing. After that I approached her and said "I'm happy to make things for the church, but I cannot be expected to drop my weekend plans with my family to do so, I need at least 2 weeks notice for a single costume and more time if there's more than one. Even then I cannot guarantee I'll have time. This summer I'll be happy to go through the whole costume closet with you and take things for repair or renovation". She figured it out and not only do we have some really nice costumes now, she doesn't call anyone on Friday afternoons anymore.
THIS ROCKS   Logged
BYA
Offline Offline

Posts: 375
Joined: 17-Apr-2007

Cunning, don't ya think?


View Profile WWW
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2008 11:57:47 AM »

You could say "No, but I will trade you for _______________ " (fill in the blank).
THIS ROCKS   Logged

"It's a real burn, being right so often" - Malcomb Reynolds

Some of my illustrations:
http://www.dreamstime.com/easystreet_portfolio_pg1
My greeting card store:
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/easystreet
Fried Gold
Rude and Ginger
Offline Offline

Posts: 164
Joined: 03-Aug-2007

Go Team Venture!


View Profile
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2008 05:54:50 AM »

Thanks guys. Smiley I really wish I could be snarky, and I can't trade her for anything 'cos she doesn't really craft. I've decided that I'm just going to ignore her request because that's what she always does to me. I think she has a wicked short attention span anyway. If it comes up again, then I'll probably flip out. If you ever see a newspaper headline that reads, "Crafter Goes on Rampage with Knitting Needles," it's totally me.
THIS ROCKS   Logged

"Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts; you can't get rid of it no matter how hard you try."
BYA
Offline Offline

Posts: 375
Joined: 17-Apr-2007

Cunning, don't ya think?


View Profile WWW
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2008 01:13:04 PM »

It doesn't have to be a swap for another type of craft....you can ask her to swap for anything of the right value. Lunch out? Wash your car? A couple of cases of your favorite soda? Of course, if the friendship is one that would likely fizzle anyway...ignoring her isn't a bad idea either Cheesy
THIS ROCKS   Logged

"It's a real burn, being right so often" - Malcomb Reynolds

Some of my illustrations:
http://www.dreamstime.com/easystreet_portfolio_pg1
My greeting card store:
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/easystreet
xx_Kellybean
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2008 05:43:39 AM »

My roommate does this....she sees my new resin pieces curing and picks out the ones she wants almost instantly. I've never told her she couldn't have them, considering i'm not doing anything else with them besides piling them into boxes at the moment... but at the same time I think back and it's like... If she didn't take some of them, i'd have about 20 more in my box that I could sell at a craft fair when the time comes.

I don't know how to say no....so i don't really have advice.

but if i had the guts I'd be like "would you actually appreciate this one?"
THIS ROCKS   Logged

SpottedFrog
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2008 07:18:42 AM »

Tell her you are planning on selling them.
THIS ROCKS   Logged
darkladymajesta
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2008 06:53:09 PM »

I definitely agree with the teach her method. Then when she says its to hard she will hopefully realize all the effort you put into each piece  Wink
THIS ROCKS   Logged
Threads you might like:
Pages: [1] Jump to page:
  Send this topic  |  Print  |  Bookmark  
 
Jump to:  



FacebookTwitterPinterest
only results with images
include swap threads
advanced search



your ad could be here!

How-To Videos
How to Make Simple Friendship Bracelets
How to Wire Wrap Jewelry
How to Restore Jewelry Finishes at Home
How to Resize a Ring
How to Polish Sterling Silver
Latest Blog Articles
Summertime Sweetness: Fruit Salsa & Cinnamon Chips
Fire Up the Grill: Jerk Steak
Tute Tuesday: July 4th Light Up the Sky Hat

Comparison Shopping




Support Craftster
Become a
Friend of Craftster

Buy Craftster Swag
Buy Craft Supplies
Comparison Shopping

Craftster heartily thanks the following peeps...
Moderators

Follow Craftster...






Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC
SimplePortal 2.3.5 © 2008-2012, SimplePortal
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!

Copyright ©2003-2015, Craftster.org an Internet Brands company.