Once upon a time, there was a young girl sitting in her art class trying to think of beautiful things to make. She remembered her recent adventures into paper mache, and an obscure article on paper mache pears, and thus a crafty seed was planted.
"I know!" She said. "I'll make fruit from paper mache!"
Soon she had created newspaper and masking tape forms of an apple, a pear, and orange, and a banana. They were lovely, even lovely enough to put in the upcoming art show at school! But little did the girl know the extreme annoyance they would soon bring her.
She took them home and layered the forms with paper mache and love, sanding and smoothing as she went. The cubish and lumpy orange form was soon thrown away in favor of a somewhat less questionable but still lumpy ball of aluminum foil. The process of layering, love, and sanding continued until finally the well read newspaper fruits were ready to be painted. The girl applied a coat of white paint to the fruits, which made them look very chic like they belonged in a modern art museum or an ipod commercial. However, the fruits, especially the orange, were incredibly lumpy, even after all the sanding! The girl thought for a moment, her brow furrowed as she gazed at the fruit. She had no paper pulp, or good air dry clay. She thought and thought.
"Father!" The girl exclaimed. "Have we any spackle?"
"Yes o child, here you are!" And the girl's father handed the spackle unto her.
For what seemed like several hours the girl painstakenly beat the spackle onto the fruit forms with a paint stirring stick and watched America's Next Top Model. Next, after several more hours of America's Next Top Model (for there came upon the television a marathon) the girl sanded the spackled fruit with her sanding sponge and a butterfly tank top tied around her face so that she would not get cancer.
The next day, the girl began the almost overwheming task of painting all of the fruit. They had to be finished by tomorrow in order to be in the art show! She soon discovered that her acrylic paint and the spackle did not seem to agree, and that the spackle was flaking off like the most frustrating snowflakes. Many layers of paint eventually calmed it, and allowed the fruits to be painted.
Later, stems from oak leaves were added to the apple and pear with E-6000, the glue that glues anything to anything forever. Finally! The fruits were ready to be sealed with some spray sealant. She sprayed them on a piece of newspaper.
The girl found that another thing spackle didn't agree with was over-eagerness.
She picked up the pear and then the orange, both of which left pieces of their skin behind on the newspaper. The apple and the banana came away safely.
"This is ridiculous!" thought the girl, but then, she was a craftster, not a crier!
She had run out of yellow paint and orange acrylic paint, but there was yellow fabric paint! She painted the fruits' wounds very successfully, and they looked even better than before! She then placed all of the fruits, the apple, the banana, the orange, and the pear together on a little glass dish and was horrified to touch them ever again for fear of some disastrous mishap.
roll credits -----
And the cast takes a bow as the curtain falls.
The fruits won an honorable mention at the art show, but I had a photograph that won first place!