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Topic: Having a holiday vegetarian meal for the family....just need some advice  (Read 2989 times)
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MissDisney
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« Reply #30 on: October 11, 2007 09:43:32 PM »

speaking as someone who hosts all her families holiday meals (until this year's thanksgiving, sore spot...............)

i think that as a HOST it is your RESPONSIBILITY to make sure every GUEST is satisfied....but many people lose sight of that....

i am NOT saying prepare meat, if you are morally opposed to preparing it yourself, or even paying for it, then dont....but you should instead make the meal potluck. then everyone will be satisfied....or you should take a poll..and see if everyone would be fine with an entirely veg meal...they might be down to try something new....if not, work it out...you are the host, not the dictator, and the party isnt for YOU, its for them....thats what parties are.....unless they are birthday or anniversary parties....

i am a steadfast (and yes, morally focused) omnivore, and if someone told me i wouldnt be allowed to eat meat because *their* beliefs forbade it, i would excuse myself from the festivities, i have places to be where *everyone* is welcome....forcing your beliefs onto other individuals for the sake of your beliefs is wrong, just like compromising your beliefs for the sake of a party would be wrong....

i also respect FULLY and COMPLETELY the rights of vegans and veg.'s and would prepare multiple meals for any that would be attending a meal at my house, out of respect, not because of their *moral* belief (or even lack their of...some people jsut want to be veg to be thin...) but because they are GUESTS in my home, and as their host, it is my job to see that they are happy, and leave full and content, wanting to join us again.....
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« Reply #31 on: October 11, 2007 11:04:50 PM »

But don't you think in that situation, you're sending the message to the host that veg*n food is somehow inferior? Say your new neighbours invited you over for a meal and they were from another country, and you turned up with your own food to eat, saying "your food is too spicy" or something. Is that not completely the same thing? If my guests turned up unwilling to even try my food, and bought along their own food, they wouldn't be welcome back.

As a veg*n host, I do make sure every guest is welcomed and satisfied - I just don't think that meat needs to be involved for that to happen.
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MissDisney
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« Reply #32 on: October 12, 2007 12:08:11 AM »

But don't you think in that situation, you're sending the message to the host that veg*n food is somehow inferior? Say your new neighbours invited you over for a meal and they were from another country, and you turned up with your own food to eat, saying "your food is too spicy" or something. Is that not completely the same thing? If my guests turned up unwilling to even try my food, and bought along their own food, they wouldn't be welcome back.

As a veg*n host, I do make sure every guest is welcomed and satisfied - I just don't think that meat needs to be involved for that to happen.

oh no, that is COMPLETELY rude, *just showing up* with your own food would be offensive...but i am asian and irish aswell as a meateater, so i am sensitive about this issue too, and i am an adventurous eater, where my husband wasnt (he is moreso now)...

when dealing with guests who may be unfamiliar with your menu, it is a good idea to include a menu in your invitation, with a note that any special dietary concerns (allergies, veg*n, aversions, diabetes, etc) should be made aware to the host/hostess when the RSVP is made (or when there is no RSVP, ASAP...) so that the hostess can accomodate anything within reason (obviously no favorite foods will be honored, but if there is a serious reason, like the ones listed above, then it is a common courtesy to accomodate them)...

i would not *not* attend a party that was completely vegan or veg*n IF the host was courteous and made that fact aware ahead of time...i am open, but it should be my *option* not forced on me because it is his/her house/beliefs when she is *inviting* me in....

veg*n food isnt inferior in any way, i LOVE vegetables, and i eat them all the time, i eat them more than anyone in my house, and eat them with every *meal* i prepare (not all snacks, but most) but i do love meat (only chicken and seafood, too much red meat and the iron in my blood gets to high, and i get ill...if my iron count goes down, i can have steak occasionally with my husband), and i do eat it. i also deal with the disapproving attitudes of people who think i cant love animals as much as i do, and still eat meat....but its ok, i know how i feel, and i respect everyone's opinions on this subject (i will admit i dont associate and have the least amount of respect for people who hunt for sport, but they have the *right* to live as they please, as long as i dont have to know them...)

**edited**

personally, when inviting someone to dinner, or considering making them a food item, i ALWAYS ask about food allergies and concerns, because they can be anything from mildly irritating (my seasonal ingestion allergy to citric acid) to possibly fatal (my sister's ingested coconut allergy, one teaspoon could kill her if she swallowed it, she needs to get a new epi pen now that she has insurance again)

but the reason its so important to me IS because of those experiences...i get a rash when i eat strawberries in the fall and winter, and its very uncomfortable....

my sister had a macaroon at my grandfather's funeral, and almost had to go to the hospital, but i caught her before it passed by her tongue, and she spit it out and washed her mouth out in time...but her mouth and throat were swollen for the whole day, and she couldn't drink very well....if we weren't out of state, we would have taken her to our Dr.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2007 12:13:58 AM by MissDisney » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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« Reply #33 on: October 12, 2007 10:59:01 PM »

I think you should first find out how open your guests would be to a meatless thanksgiving. My family for instance would not take well to it at all. They are very very serious about their ham and turkey and just left it off without informing anyone. If they aren't too fond of meatless, you could buy a precooked or ask someone to bring a meat option.
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« Reply #34 on: October 13, 2007 05:55:59 AM »

You know when it gets right down to it, no one if forced to eat at a vegetarian or vegan's house.

If they will not be satisfied with the meal, the may decline the offer.

« Last Edit: October 13, 2007 05:56:45 AM by nasty_wench » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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