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Topic: What to make for My Bf's Mom who hates me?  (Read 8676 times)
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elizabethdee
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2007 04:04:41 PM »

I think i would rather her talk about something she hats then something she didnt recieve.
Does that make sense?

That makes sense to me (sadly enough, i totally get this).

Plus, if you are thinking longterm, then you want to give your relationship with HER its best shot. If it fails, let it be because of her, and not because you didn't try.

(And people who carp about presents they've received make themselves look bad.)

How about a flowering plant? Pretty hard for her to object to a flowering plant (although yes, a complainer can always find plenty to complain about). Ask your boyfriend what her favorite flowers/colors are, even if you are sure he doesn't know. That way you are on the record for having tried to please her. If she lets the plant die, don't interpret it. Her choice. (What if you gave an object? She could break it or toss it.... you see where I'm going? Try not worry about what she does or will do, so long as you've done something you feel is appropriate.)

As far as a card goes, I wouldn't get too personal, since she is so rejecting. Depending on what the situation is, you could even skip the card. If it were me and I were giving a card, I'd stick to as few words as possible.

Good luck! And i like this boyfriend who wants to do something about your relationship with his mother, especially if he can see what an uphill battle it is for you.

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« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2007 01:24:22 AM »

I do like the plant idea, but Im afraid If I give her a plant she wont take care of it, and it will die.

Cacti? Wink

My mum has loads of pot plants that she kind of waters now and again, somehow most manage to survive. I think the most successful is something that looks like a green rose (but it also kinda looks like a cactus-y / aloe-y plant with leaves that resemble a rose).

Sorry, I have a black thumb. No idea about plants.
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janesays
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2007 04:19:49 PM »

I like the Midge-mo's idea.  Smiley

Also, you could buy a simple vase and just embellish it a little, or paint a bowl with a simple design.
Or something really impersonal like making her soap?
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« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2007 08:00:56 AM »

I like the Midge-mo's idea.  Smiley

Also, you could buy a simple vase and just embellish it a little, or paint a bowl with a simple design.
Or something really impersonal like making her soap?

ha what if she takes it like she stinks?
Okay any ideas on how to make her a little organization system, maybe for papers and or other little items?
Would that be stuid, I could put a few supplies in it, she is back in school.
Everything seems wrong but maybe that ould work. Just maybe
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« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2007 08:22:17 AM »

I think with boy boyfriend's mum, if she's determined not to like you, she won't like you. If I were you, I would put SOME effort into giving her a gift, but not so much that you would feel crushed if/when she badmouths it. Take the high road, as it were.
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« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2007 07:11:52 AM »

I think Im going to give her a plant, well plant her a plant in a nice pot, and decorate it, but I guess she loves plants but has a hard time keeping them alive.
So other then cacti, are there any other pretty flowers that can take a little abuse?
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HHjamie
« Reply #16 on: May 01, 2007 08:39:33 AM »

Uh, I've had this problem. Just make sure you get her something, or make some kind of gesture. It sounds like she will complain no matter what, but she will most likely be even more vocal if you do nothing! Plus, remember that usually someome not liking you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their issues.

Hang in there!
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lwright311
« Reply #17 on: May 01, 2007 08:45:40 AM »

Go to the dollar store and get her something.  If she is going to hate it anyway, might as well save your time and money.
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catdaddytn
« Reply #18 on: May 01, 2007 08:53:48 AM »

I like the card idea for my MIL and we like each other.  Thanks for a good idea.  catdaddy
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« Reply #19 on: May 01, 2007 09:18:05 AM »

Make her a card saying what a great mom she's been to have raised such a wonderful,great ,kind,helpful,ect, son. How can she not like it-it's praising her baby boy! What's she going to say-I wasn't such a great mom?He's not that special? She can't argue with it at all,hee hee. Good luck!

I SO agree with everything in your post!  Every Father's Day I give my BF's 80+ yo old Dad a card stating that very thing: "Thank you for raising..."   Luckily, he is honestly a wonderful man! 

As far as your BF's "mother" being less than good:  I always say "Kill 'em with Kindness.."  You will always come out smelling like a rose by taking the high road, and your BF will always remember that you were never nasty to her even though she's horrid and abusive.  *Hmmm, call me manipulative, maybe...*
« Last Edit: May 01, 2007 09:22:54 AM by staciart » THIS ROCKS   Logged
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