ADULT CONTENT My Christmas boobs

[Onyxnox]

I made about 8 of these last year for the various male friends and family - in a variety of sizes and shades of flesh:



Charlies Angels pose (the rude one giving us the finger is my so *charming* brother in law - how two boys so totally different came from the same uterus I will never know)


It got a good laugh at our annual Christmas get together.


edited by vanillaxlight to fix title

[Red Alibi]

I'm going to have to make these 'big boys' (or should I say girls) for a friend of mine who has been having a very very lonely year......

by any chance a pattern? 

[Onyxnox]

Thanks - I wish my two were still that firm and perky.

One friend could not bring them home - his wife was mad that I made him this (the man is in his fifties for goodness sakes, they were a joke gift!) - so he gave them to my neighbour.  Waldemer - the neighbour - a man in his 60s and with a great sense of humour) uses them to nap with when he is reclining in his armchair or hammock.  Your head kind of nestles in the cleavage.

I got the pattern from a crochet links page - but it was removed.  Let me see if I can find it on the wayback machine for you  - it is offline right now, but I will look later.  I used the crocheted nipples - they looked nicer.  The difference from the pattern on the site is that I crocheted an extra row or two on the nipples for that perkier look - also started with a magic ring so that there was no hole in the middle of the nipples.  Also, I crocheted a couple of rounds more in the nipple colour to make a more realistic areolae.  Did not like the idea of using plastic bottle nipples - not comfortable sounding.

http://web.archive.org/web/20040218151855/http://home.inreach.com/marthac/crochet6.html

[Ezri_B]

That's a great picture with all of them and their boobs! I'm making something really similarly to this and now I'm trying to line it so I can fill it with those really soft bead things to give them the right "feel". My husband sort of laughed and said he'd love boob pillows with that stuffing in it, so I'm trying to make them for him for his birthday. I hope mine goes over as well as yours seem to have!

[Hapslappy]

AHAHAHAHA!  That's so great!  I wish I had more skills, I know a few dudes who would love these!  :-D

[cdraz]

 :oToo funny!!!

[diosaperdida]

Yanno..my husband needs some of these....lol..Maybe a whole pile of them!
Again..love everything you post. You're awesome!

[Onyxnox]

My hubs would agree - every man needs a pile of breasts to lie on - big, small, every colour - every hetero man's fanatasy I am sure 

[goldencrafter]

  WAY to funny and so unusual. Great job.

[SewPixie]

  oh my goodness that is too cool. I do fear though that if I make one of these for DH for the holidays that I'll never see him again. 

When I was crocheting the flying pig for Snacker everyone at work thought I was making a boob so they would get a kick out of it if I started this project.

Thanks so much for posting.

[wifeofbath]

nice tits 

love this idea! I could knit my husband a massive pair to rest his weary head on after a hard days work..... 

Umm, wouldn't that defeat the goal of getting him to rest his weary head on your pair?  Then again, I always wonder something similar about crocheted willy warmers, so maybe my mind is just in the gutter.

[arnogg]

Those are great!  I made a set of ta-ta's for my stepfather last Christmas.  His eyes absolutely lit up when he opened the package, it was awesome.

[cest_la_vie]

Those are great and the pics to go with are perfect.  I made soemthing like that from a pattern I found on the net for my sister.  She was having breast reduction surgery and she got a great laugh out of it.  She got mad at me for a while because it hurt to laugh, but she loves them.

[aliciasjoy]

Those pillows are great!  They look so real.
And your family looks so nice and happy. The group picture cracked me up.

[acidalbatross]

those things made my day

[nellum]

I made a similar set for a friend's birthday! Except I used baby bottle nipples and I pierced one... it was a good time

[flybabytina]

I know what the guys on my Christmas list are getting this year! Thanks so much for your pictures and the link to the pattern!

Tina

[the noodle princess]

oh dear lord that is awesome. your family looks like they know how to have fun!

[Pandabunnie]

That is so cool.

[RubyRain]

I just had to add that these are great! My brother might just get something like this for Christmas this year! 

[christinacoghill]

I'm making my hubby a set for his gag christmas gift this year. Now to find the time and a place to hide them so he can't see them!

[JennJenn]

Those are awesome!

[poe poe]

ROFLMAO!!! This is absolutly fantastic! My inlaws live in a nudeist colony, and I am soooo making this for my father in law. Now what to make for my mother in law; maybe a penis body pillow. Thanks for shareing this awesome project. I can't waite to see his face when he opens his christmas gift.

[dntysgrplm]

AMAZING!  I would have peed my pants if I saw the looks on those guys' faces as they opened up some boobs. 

[veggiechef]

Onyxnox,
I nearly fell out of the chair laughing when I saw your boobs.  As a breast care professional, I can say those are the healthiest looking boobs I've seen all day. Now my friend wants me to make her boyfriend a set so he will leave her alone.  Thanks for the chuckle.  Excellent work!

[jchinique]

My baby is weaning, I wonder if making him a "na-na" pillow would be a good or bad thing...his dad might enjoy a pair though.

 

Thanks for posting, I may try the pattern when I find it and the time, lol!

[Onyxnox]

Thanks all.

I think a Penis body pillow is a great idea - especially if you make a matching condom cover for it!

As for you, veggiechef, as a nurse who works with an average population of 85 years, they are also the healthiest, and perkiest boobs I have ever worked with too - and that is probably including my own!

[ruby_soho]

lmao!  these are so hilarious. 

[itchyfingers]

HA!  Were they weighted?  Because I think men should have to go around with realistic boobs for a few days to see what a pain they can be.