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Topic: Gift Ideas For A Distant Difficult Blind Dad?  (Read 9235 times)
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iampoison
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« on: June 17, 2006 06:41:32 PM »

EDIT: Thank you so much for the help everyone, but it seems that he no longer wishes to be in our lives and we aren't exactly trying to fix that. Thank you so much for all your lovely suggestions.

Okay to make a long and personal story short me, my younger sister, and my father are NOT very close. He had surgery about 6 years ago on a brain tumor and went blind. He also forgot about all the bad things that happened between us and expects us to have a perfect relationship. We (My sister and I) don't feel that way. I don't expect us to make this gift by this father's day but we need ideas for future holidays. Everything we come up with involves eye sight. Plus handmade gifts usually do not go over well with him.
I once made him a scarf since he loved to ski (before the blindness) and he went on for a half an hour talking about his other scarf he bought and how much nicer it was.

Plus we fear ignoring him or the holiday because he has become desperate and perhaps a bit self distructive.

So i need ideas for

Generally picky people (he's picky about everything)
Blind People
Distant Family Member

If any of you have ANY ideas feel free to spill them here because we are at a loss.
Thank you very much.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2008 10:03:51 PM by iampoison » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2006 02:03:15 AM »

So it would be hand-made? Sorry I'm just confused. I can't think of anything right now but I'll think about it and see if I come up with anything.
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iampoison
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« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2006 08:05:58 AM »

So it would be hand-made? Sorry I'm just confused. I can't think of anything right now but I'll think about it and see if I come up with anything.
Yeah it would be handmade but i was hoping for something non-typical. Something different.
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mishmish
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2006 11:42:28 AM »

What about something to eat? Cookies, something like that. Or if he likes a certian genre or used to like it, download some songs and make a CD. You can look up a tutorial on braille and make a nice card... I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that don't involve eyesight.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2006 11:44:28 AM by mishmish » THIS ROCKS   Logged
iampoison
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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2006 09:36:42 AM »

What about something to eat? Cookies, something like that. Or if he likes a certian genre or used to like it, download some songs and make a CD. You can look up a tutorial on braille and make a nice card... I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that don't involve eyesight.
Thank you very much mishmish. A CD seems like a good idea. I think I'll do that. I remember he used to like Elvis a bit when I was younger.
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mishmish
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2006 02:13:05 PM »

What about something to eat? Cookies, something like that. Or if he likes a certian genre or used to like it, download some songs and make a CD. You can look up a tutorial on braille and make a nice card... I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that don't involve eyesight.
Thank you very much mishmish. A CD seems like a good idea. I think I'll do that. I remember he used to like Elvis a bit when I was younger.

No problem! Good luck
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« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2007 11:55:44 AM »

Wow- you are in a bind!  Personally, I say go the gift card route.  You and your sister can go in together and get a $50 gift card for a restaurant.  I wish I had some better ideas for you.  I will think about it some more.  Good luck!
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« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2007 01:16:09 PM »

does (did) he like books or reading?  if so and he has a favorite you and your sister could tape readings of chapters, and give one each holiday or one per month or whatever.  i got the idea because my grandfather doesn't read English very well so he really likes books on tape.
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iampoison
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« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2007 10:27:17 PM »

does (did) he like books or reading?  if so and he has a favorite you and your sister could tape readings of chapters, and give one each holiday or one per month or whatever.  i got the idea because my grandfather doesn't read English very well so he really likes books on tape.

Thank you for the idea. Thankfully my father has lost most contact with the rest of our family although if we ever reconcile that would be a great gift.

--rant--
He can just be such a jerk.  Angry
When we last saw him I made him a ton of quality handmade items. I designed my own valentine card for him (with cut out letters so he could try and feel them with his fingers), a drawstring bag to keep his collapsible walking stick in which was made with Eagles fabric (his favorite football team). And A matching rice-heat pack with a removable Eagles slipcover to put on his sore legs. Then he took the items home and complained to our grandmother that our gifts were "thrown together and poorly made".
I think I may have to get this thread deleted because I doubt he'll ever be in our lives again. 
« Last Edit: April 03, 2007 10:36:30 PM by iampoison » THIS ROCKS   Logged

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librarylass
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2007 10:34:26 PM »

I think I have to agree with what someone said earlier and go the giftcard route. Assuming he is in your lives for much longer (he really does sound like a jerk) then fork over $50 for a shopping centre gift card, send him a cheap 50c card and 'happy birthday' I doubt you'll get much better from him.

*hugs* look after yourself. Nasty/annoying people are bad for YOUR health. Especially if they are family.
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« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2007 12:59:06 PM »

I'd say cut the strings and save your money, don't feel guilty and don't look back. There are times it has to be done, because it is kinder to your sister and yourself to forget than to continue to let him abuse you, mentally or however.
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« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2007 03:35:17 PM »

My boyfriend's father is a recovering alcoholic with similar (somewhat abusive) tendencies toward us and we got him a plant. It needs care and reinforces that he has to take responsibility for things. Pretty basic, minimal time and cost. Maybe decorate the pot with different textured fabric or tiles.

Plus if you get him an aloe plant or something with an interesting texture or flowers it will be interesting to feel (since he cant see). Or if he cooks for himself, get herbs.

Hope things settle down for you. I know how hard it is to have a difficult family member.
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white trash hero
« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2007 04:52:01 PM »

i just send my dad cards...
:S
i think if hes gonna be a
"see you next tuesday"
just f*ck him
get him a cheap card
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iampoison
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« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2007 04:56:33 PM »

My boyfriend's father is a recovering alcoholic with similar (somewhat abusive) tendencies toward us and we got him a plant. It needs care and reinforces that he has to take responsibility for things. Pretty basic, minimal time and cost. Maybe decorate the pot with different textured fabric or tiles.

Plus if you get him an aloe plant or something with an interesting texture or flowers it will be interesting to feel (since he cant see). Or if he cooks for himself, get herbs.

Hope things settle down for you. I know how hard it is to have a difficult family member.

That is fantastic idea. (although the wickedness in me wants to give him a cactus). An aloe plant sounds fantastic. Thank you so very much. With another father's day quickly approaching I was in need of a few emergency ideas.
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white trash hero
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2007 05:02:31 PM »

hehe, cactus....
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citizengeek
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2007 03:16:56 PM »

Because the old man sounds like a real tool, I really admire your loving spirit.  It's incredibly hard to put yourself on the line again when you've received rejection before.

A very nice, blind, older gentleman I knew was completely enamored with annual monthly audiobook subscription from his kids.

Maybe your dad isn't into books, but likes comedy or sports stories.

Anyway, I would probably just dub some cds from the library and then package them in a way he can easily distinguish cd one from cd four.  (like making a cardboard or cloth holder like one of the over the visor ones that way he can work from top to bottom without assistance).

If he continues to be a gift-horse-mouth-looker, you're only out a few blank cds, some time, and a cd holder.

I hope, for you, that he gets his head out of his posterior and realizes what caring kids he has.  I'm not one for writing off family, but you shouldn't be hurt all the time for good intentions either.

Good luck-
adrienne

p.s. If grandma has nothing nice to repeat, maybe she should talk about the weather instead.  Really- it's hurtful.
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iampoison
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« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2007 10:41:18 PM »

A very nice, blind, older gentleman I knew was completely enamored with annual monthly audiobook subscription from his kids.


Thank you very much for the idea. ^_^  Sadly, he gets an audio book subscription free from the program he is in.

It really means a lot to me that so many of you here on craftster have given me such wonderful thoughtful ideas. I love you guys. :hugs:!
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HeatherJuneYoung
« Reply #17 on: February 14, 2008 01:34:20 AM »

there are a lot of websites related to blindness, just type it in to google.
my fiancee is blind and so are his 2 younger sisters so i have resarched this alot.
but also i dont know much about your situation so that would be a good idea to look at these sites
there are some that do cards in braille for you.
i could ask my fiancee if you need any ideas, i could ask him what he thinks
PM me if you want me to ask him.
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iampoison
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« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2008 08:02:39 AM »

there are a lot of websites related to blindness, just type it in to google.
my fiancee is blind and so are his 2 younger sisters so i have resarched this alot.
but also i dont know much about your situation so that would be a good idea to look at these sites
there are some that do cards in braille for you.
i could ask my fiancee if you need any ideas, i could ask him what he thinks
PM me if you want me to ask him.


Thank you very much for the offer.  Smiley I have bought him a card with braille before and he told me he couldn't read it and that the braille on the card must have been wrong. It was a reputable card company so I'm not sure if he was being honest or just wicked.
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JLMS
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2008 04:52:29 PM »

Your Dad is just mad at the world, it seems. So, how about a new radio? He could listen to whatever he wants. And maybe tapes or cd's of something that might interest him.  You just might have to tell him he is always displeased with your gifts, so what would he really think would be a good gift. Maybe he doesn't know his is so negative. Or, just write him off like others have said. I have to give you credit for trying so hard. Good luck.
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