Okay, the first day I started work, I was shown this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQsBNZKQn6g

As you can imagine, it stuck in my memory.

And then, a few months later, my colleague (who showed me the video, it's our departmental gag) was leaving for another job, and I jokingly said, "Who's bringing the dick in a box?"

Which set off a brainwave...

(You need to have watched the SNL short, otherwise you'll just think I'm completely mental.)

 
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It's really simple, but it made everyone laugh, so I hope Craftsters enjoy it too.

Hi there. I handsew, so this could be a major problem (unless someone wants to PM me with a proposal).

My boyfriend has inherited three armchairs from his grandmother. One is fully covered in fabric, and the other two have wooden arms. I know the chairs have been re-upholstered at least once before, and they are extremely worn. So I think they need re-upholstering again, but I have no idea how to do it or where to go and get it done.

Does anyone here have experience with this sort of thing? Anyone here happens to live in Scotland and do this for a living?

I haven't got any pictures of the chairs at the moment, but they're nothing unusual. The boyfriend just really likes the chairs and wants to keep them.

Any help and/or advice would be much appreciated!

I made this to see if I could manage it in a sweat shoppe swap. I tried making a tripod base (tail + 2 fat feet) for stability, and I managed to screw that up a bit. Unbelievable!!

It needs a name. Suggestions?

I'm starting a new topic because it's not quite the same as a normal What to get the boyfriend problem.

I think the boyfriend wishes I made him more crafted gifts. He's a really practical guy, and is firm in his belief he does not need more than one hat and one scarf. Or wallet. He doesn't wear any jewellery. He doesn't wear caps. He's one of those stylish guys who sees no problem with wearing, shorts, dress socks and trainers.

We've been together for over five years, so I've got him loads of stuff for birthdays and Christmas. I'm kind of out of ideas. His birthday is next month, and when I'm not at work, odds are I'm with him. So the only time I'm going to get to craft him anything is on my lunch hour. I crochet, knit a little bit, and hand sew. He loves to read The Economist (we're such an exciting, hip and happening couple), so I thought to do something with this ad:

http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/the_economist_on?size=_original

Or at least something like it. You know, smartarse it up a bit and personalise it. Or is that too cheesy?

The issue is, what can I do? I'm thinking of using a piece of red fabric (I've got some red corduroy, I knew it'd come in handy one day) and embroidering this design (my other issue is I've never embroidered before), and turning it into... what? Here are things I'm thinking of:

- Coasters (how romantic -- not);
- Reconstructed file / folder to hold his important documents and perhaps the latest Economist issue (i.e. attaching it to the front of a file, if paint is a better option here I'm in trouble as I don't have an artistic bone in my body);
- Lunch bag for when he gets a job;
- And those are all the ideas I've got.

Edited to add: how about trying to sneakily get a bright red towel and embroidering the ad? How do I hide a knot on a towel?

(He really wants a laptop bag, but he's extremely specific about what he wants and he wants a backpack and I don't have a working sewing machine so that is definitely out. Things I have made on previous occasions - mobile phone cozy, no longer used; back scrubbie, converted into sleep mask, don't ask and no longer used; sock doll; languishing in a box along with other sock dolls at the moment.)

Help!!!!

Some of you may remember my earlier posts in the Crochet Challenge: Orange Friedman, Loosipher LaGrand, and Vatvat.

I've finally finished another duck (the duck was finished ages ago, but it took some motivation to add the personal touches).



This extremely laid-back fella is Drake Marley, the Rastafarian duck. He indeed believes that Emperor Haile Selassie I is the Messiah, and he likes to enjoy certain herbal products. He's not ashamed to say he inhales!

There are these mascots called The CMONS (from Barcelona, they're a band) for the Vauxhall Corsa, Blue is my favourite:



I've been RIVETED to the cuteness of these dolls for months, so I've been planning to make my own version. I finally got round to it:



You can read all about him here: http://www.twistedsockster.com/?p=41

I'm currently thinking of a name. Usually, I can come up with a name fairly quickly, but I'm a little stumped with this wee fella. Help!

Here are a bunch of sock monkeys I've made for (one swap and) gifts.

This was for a personal swap. The tail was a little shorter than I liked, but the prints on the socks necessitated I cut it off... prematurely. Sheldon here is showing how his heart is stouter than a lion's.

These three are presents for my cousin's kids. Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3 (the monkey's names, not the kids, hehe). I decided not to use buttons for the eyes so I crocheted circles out of cotton floss. I was posing them in an... er, adult fashion, because I'm sick that way.

[Update]

Meet Orange Friedman. He's a Hasidic Jew. He's spent many years grooming his hair and beard to its luxurious state you see here today.

Orange Friedman is part of my (still very small) Religious Quacks collection.



This fella, on the other hand, is Loosipher LaGrand. He's a member of the Church of Satan. His horns are made of, surprise, surprise, alfoil.

(I know I'm not going to win the challenge, but you never know if you never try. And I love my ducks.)

Update

Here is Vatvat:



Vatvat is a swami from the Sai Organisation. He stands for love, peace, truth, and non-violence.

If you want to read the background behind it (I made it all up, I'm not very good at making or following patterns), it's on my craft site (link).

They're pretty warm, I wore them into the city today!

I crocheted this out of tigertail a few weeks ago. I quite like it - it's a bit scratchy though. Does anyone know how to make the ends un-scratchy? Will filing the ends down work?