I did some research on Craftster but am not having much success with my project.  Perhaps you can advise?

I have this table (in birch veneer, not in the light blue that pops up first):

http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10101&storeId=12&productId=11140&langId=-1&parentCats=10105*10311

I want to print it with an artsy design.  I tried some craft paint on one leg, and it scratched off easily.  I tried sanding, and it made little difference.  I tried a couple coats of primer, and it still scratches off with just a firm scrape of the fingernail.

Do I need to get a hardwood table in order to paint and have it stay on?  I am thinking of shopping the local thrift stores for one, but I don't want to give up on this IKEA table unless it really is a lost cause.

If you know anything about how to accomplish this, please let me know!!

I don't really know how to sew, but I was thinking of starting simple, getting a small lace tablecloth (or just a large square of soft lace) and making it into a poncho.  However, I'm not sure - when I cut the hole, will I be able to secure it against fraying by sewing a hem?  If not, is there a way to sew thick/fabric-y lace so that it won't unravel?  (Feel free to dumb down your response for this sewing newbie!)

My mom used to make deviled eggs with mayo, yellow mustard, and paprika, so I made up this version of scrambled eggs based on that:

-Scramble the eggs and pour into the frying pan
-When eggs are mostly (but not fully) cooked, drop in a dollop of mayonaisse and a squirt of yellow mustard (amount based on your personal taste - if you're not sure, just start out light and add more the next time if it's not enough flavor for you)
-Chop the mixture together with a plastic spatula repeatedly until all blended
-Transfer to a plate and add a generous sprinkling of paprika over the top

I like this with an english muffin or on its own.

Enjoy!

Can anyone direct me to a tutorial or general information page (or thread) that gives complete newbies an introduction to soldering?  I am hoping to make a small sculpture from pieces of tin that I've collected, and I don't know Thing 1 about soldering.  (Except that I will probably end up hurting myself!)

thanks!