So I went scrounging down my street (yay to scrounge!) and look what I found!:
It's a carved heavy wooden leg of the couch. It's about 10 inches long and 5 inches wide, with rounded edges on two of the sides.
As you can see, the back of it is kind of scratched up.
There's a groove running down the bottom for where it used to fit on the couch.
So the question is.... WHAT TO DO? It's heavy wood, and I have no drill.... unfortunately. Give me time. But repaint it? Refinish it? Resand it? And then what? I have no ideas whatsoever.