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61  MISCELLANEOUS TOPICS / Completed Projects / Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheep! on: April 01, 2015 03:27:27 PM

Thanks to AC/DC for the highly inappropriately inspiration
 and to my older brother Chris, who tenderly taught me the art of dark humor (at age 10)

If you're havin' trouble with the farmer's wife
She's givin' you the blues
You wanna jump the fence but it's too high
Here's what ya gotta do
Come to my coop, I'll help you regroup
 Find me any time
First hay bale on the right
I lead a life of crime

Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheep)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheep)

You got problems with the hired hand
You got a broken leg
He handled you too rough at the trough
That's when the teardrops start
Come to my crate, I'll set the dude straight
 Or find me at the well
I'll tell you how I'll help you now
I'll send that guy to Hell

Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheep)
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheep)

If you're sick of the neighbor kid, you want her gone
But you ain't got the guts
She keeps grabbin' your tail night and day
Enough to drive you nuts
Come to my pen, I'll help you and then
Together we'll make a stand
For a fee, that kid will be
Without the use of her hand!

Barbed wire noose, pitchforks,apples with DDT
(Done dirt cheep)
Manure pit asphyxiation, combine "accidents", hayloft falls
(Done dirt cheep)

Dirty deeds done dirt cheep. Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds, do anything you want me to
Dirty deeds done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds dirty deeds dirty deeds
Done dirt cheep!    Aahhhh!

Scene constructed from the following...
Barbed wire and real barn siding from old farm where I live,
Cheep dollar store wind-up Easter chick
Hay is cut from my boss's grass rug (he'll never miss it)
apples are barberries
 Pitchfork came from specialized aisle of liquor store
zombie chicken arms
Matchstick fence
62  ORGANIZED CRAFT SWAPS / New Swap Theme Ideas / Compost pile sculpture swap, anyone? on: April 01, 2015 05:44:57 AM
Do you keep putting scraps into your compost pile when you never even use it for gardening? I am sure a lot of us do. Such a waste. I have noticed when I add yet another handful of coffee grounds and banana peels to mine, the wonderful smell and the gooey texture, that, if a small amount of glue were added, I could easily work the whole mass with my hands and create a lovely sculpture or even useful items.

Things I would put on my list for my swap partner to make for me...

Hat to wear to the Halloween tea party
Small receptacle to hold my dentures overnight
Wall hanging with bits of dried orange peel at strategically placed grids sticking out so I can hang
   my house keys on it
Christmas ornaments
Lampshades for the bathroom
Altered picture frame to use with a fave pic of my ex.
63  PAPER CRAFTS, SCRAPBOOKING & ATCs (ARTIST TRADING CARDS) / Artist Trading Cards (ATCs) / Paper doll penguin card on: March 24, 2015 04:05:52 PM

I am in hopes that Patraw will not mind if I borrow his stunning pics to show off my card. I do not have his talent.

Bird is pen and ink with watercolors. I made it so he was permanently on but could stand up. Chose dotted paper and washed blue for a cold snowy look.

Then comes the outfits....



And my fave, the guy who can never get away from the sea anyway.

So, I did the entire thing with giant unweildy kitchen scissors because all of my nice tiny blades were dead. As I tried desperately to cut the last tiny bits, my daughter texted me that she was at the craft store....did I need anything? new xacto blades arrived an hour later just in time to do the last wee bits that no scissors on earth could ever touch.
64  PAPER CRAFTS, SCRAPBOOKING & ATCs (ARTIST TRADING CARDS) / Artist Trading Cards (ATCs) / Octopus sways his arms with the current on: March 24, 2015 03:56:03 PM

Made this happy guy for a recent swap. Theme was moveables but Craftster also like sea life.
I cut thin strips of a baggie and glued them to four of the arms. Pull the strips and the arms move.

I was so pleased to have the bubbly paper in my stash for the backround. The sea fronds are floss.
then I looked around for possibilities for what would lie on the sea floor. I cut up tiny bits of paper wasp house and also bone. I liked how they worked.
65  PAPER CRAFTS, SCRAPBOOKING & ATCs (ARTIST TRADING CARDS) / Artist Trading Cards (ATCs) / Found: ancient previously unknown species skeleton! on: March 13, 2015 01:14:33 PM

I made this in a recent swap for subject Curiosity Cabinet. I live in a converted dairy barn with massive attic space. Found several bird skeletons up there and took one apart (after much washing of course) and reassembled to make this odd creature. Oy, it was a blast!

It has a little stand in the back. The actual box is a playing card holder. It was old and smelled like it so I had to put it in a box with baking soda for ten days!
66  CRAFTSTER CRAFT CHALLENGES / Craftster Craft Challenge Theme Ideas, Etc. / Play with your food! on: March 04, 2015 06:16:51 AM
The first challenge I ever entered was way back when I was a newbie. I carved an iron out of a huge zucchini and added embellishments that were all foodstuffs. I think it would be fun to create your choice of thingie out of foods... butter sculpture, pumpkin tote bag, seed necklace, lemon puppets, etc. Two potential problems... project may not be long-term usable due to decomposition, and you may have to create only in the last day or two before submission for the same reason.
67  MISCELLANEOUS TOPICS / Discussion and Questions / Gluing plastic to plastic on: February 28, 2015 07:25:14 AM
I have one chance and one chance only to get this right... piece I am making is tiny and somewhat delicate. I cannot use any other fasteners besides glue. I need to glue see-thru #1 Pete plastic to #5 pp plastic. I cannot clamp, as it is both rounded and delicate.
Need some advice!  Thanx
68  ORGANIZED CRAFT SWAPS / New Swap Theme Ideas / Next hoopla round on: February 28, 2015 04:36:34 AM

Homerof2 posted that she is not planning on hosting the next swap... I volunteer to host.  I am really interested in a theme of Summer Activities. The list seems endless... bicycling, gardening, surfing, riding in a convertible, volleyball, canoeing, hiking, building sandcastles, swimming, picnics, etc.
I could start signups anytime in March. Shall we stick to 3 weeks for crafting?
69  PAPER CRAFTS, SCRAPBOOKING & ATCs (ARTIST TRADING CARDS) / Artist Trading Cards (ATCs) / Ickle mousie (non-paper theme) on: February 27, 2015 01:42:24 PM

I made this for a theme of non-paper. Pine bark is backing, gingham curtains, matchbox flowerbox, tiny fake flowers stuck into foam, and the mouse is shredded yarn turned into a wet glob and them manipulated with a needle. Seed bead eyes and the whiskers are from my collection since I have had so many kitties who leave them on the bed.
It was so much fun to make! Wanna do more.
70  SEWING IN GENERAL / Sewing in General: Discussion and Questions / Your earliest sewing memories... chime in! on: February 23, 2015 03:11:41 PM

At what age did you learn basic sewing? Who taught you? What was it like? What were your first humble projects? Was it by hand or machine? Do you still possess any of those items? If anyone responds, I will answer these questions too.
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