Har, har. Cat training tips? Say it with me...water bottle squirt misting. After you scold them with it a few times, then you only have to make the noise (as in pshhht, pshhht), and they will scatter! At least that has been my experience. I currently have one tiny that I am training to stay off the tables. My two bigger ones know better, at least when I am looking. I'm not sure what they do when I am sleeping. Cats can be pretty stubborn when they get an idea in their head. But those are very cute kitties you have. And I like your wall, too.
Oh, and I call the fly swatter a spanky stick. And paddle their little behinds a bit. They have learned the word for that, so I just have to say spanky stick and they know they are in the wrong.