After poking around a bit on Ravelry, I stumbled on http://www.straw.com/cpy/patterns/scarves/kaya-cabled-scarf.html and thought it couldn't hurt to cast on. If I hated it, I could always frog it again. So after a few hours, I got this:
I can't say I love the results so far, but I hate it a lot less than I have. The suggestions have been great, but I think this one is staying as a cabled scarf until further notice. Maybe I'll be able to gift it to someone I don't really care for come Christmas because I know it'll be that long before I finish it.