Thanks for all the help, guys!
I used the longtail CO as shown on www.knittinghelp.com. Tried it again after I posted and it's still being weird. I'll try a different CO and maybe get some less-slippery yarn. The stuff I'm using there is a Christmas present from my roommate, who knows that I've been crocheting my entire life, so she went out and got me...a set of knitting needles, because they were cheaper than those silly crochet ones and it's pretty much the same thing, right? And some yarn made of bamboo because I'm all eco-friendly and I mentioned bamboo being really eco-friendly once.
UNfortunately I know about as much about knitting as she does crochet, so I've been sitting here practicing and getting nowhere
I'll let you guys know how it goes.