I read the Twilight series.  Go team Jacob! (What can I say, Edward sounds like a dick, and Jacob is furry and warm.)
Somebody in the world decided to recreate a felt version of Bella’s womb.  As if it should be detachable and separate from her body.

Got a roommate or a sibling who you’re constantly butting heads with? How about a significant other, or your spouse? Solve all your problems with a simple beat down a la penis.

When I typically think of a c*ckfight this is not the image I conjure up.
Not that I’m thinking of c*ckfights often.
But, I have [...]

Y’all know what the O Face is right?
If not, here ya go, rookie:
Okay, and y’all know what I mean when I talk about Tree Faces, right?
If not, here ya go, rookie:

Yeah. People actually buy these in country stores and put them on their trees. Apparently none of them ever hid in their Papa’s [...]

Squeamish or not. These is something terribly wrong with this.

The *art* of taxidermy really knows no bounds, does it?
I don’t know, but I don’t think the crystal encrusted effects really anything to diminishing the horror.
*shudder*
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Sam and Karen hail from none other than Craftastrophe.net, where they prove on an almost daily basis that handmade isn’t always [...]

Craigslist is a beautiful thing.  Need a sprinkler?
From the listing:
I built this guy last Friday & used him to water the lawn all day Saturday. People driving past, gawked at him like they had never seen a guy vomiting a steady stream of water all over the place. I put an ad to offer to [...]

Does NOT mean you should.

What the WHAT!?
I can’t stop staring at those eff’n eyes. They seriously skeeve me the frig out.
I think I want this chandelier in the hallway outside my kids’ rooms.

Yes. I said chandelier.
Seriously.
RAAAWWWWWWWR. GET BACK IN YER BED!!!!

From the listing:
This octopus chandelier is made from sculpted arms and head, she has pink albino taxidermy glass eyes, [...]

This? This is the ultimate Craftastrophe.
At first glance, they look like some pretty innocent, though heavy-looking earrings. Upon closer inspection though, I find offense with the red beady eyes, the oddly coloured ears and the thought of those tails tickling my shoulders a la Squirrel Feet Earrings makes my back teeth hurt.

This one just makes me laugh.
Manically.
I am buying one and wearing it with my sexist* lingerie.
Hmm… I wonder if she makes bacon ones?

From the listing:

A fun and whimsical broach that will add a unique flair to any outfit. Pannies Broaches are made from real fried eggs that are entirely encased in gloss to make them [...]

Hideous Hannah went down to Savannah,
holding her head in her hands.
She tried a bandana,
tied around her neck-a,
but her head kept rolling cross lands.
(her nose looks like Michael Jackson’s did.)
I kind of love this and think it would be perfect for Avitable’s Halloween party!
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Sam and Karen hail from none other than Craftastrophe.net, where they prove on [...]

Barbie herself would be pretty pleased with this Pretty in Pink version of the almighty girl-throne.

At $2100, this lovely number isn’t cheap, but the only thing that keeps running through my mind is how in the heck would you clean all that grout? Call me a germ-a-phobe, but it just seems to me that [...]

10 toes, 10 fingers, one head. You know the drill - that sort of thing doesn’t sell in the circus. (rubs hands together - ya that’s evil.)

From the listing:
Are you a fan of creepy circuses and freaky carnivals?
Do you love babies?
If you answered yes to both of those questions, this product is for you. [...]

Oh HAI!  We were at BlogHer in Chicago last weekend (where we won a weapon, er award from SocialLuxe) and so we completely forgot about you guys last week.  We’re shallow and fickle like that.  Something shiny comes along and we forget allll about you.  Being the fair-weather friends we are, we’re back this week, [...]

LOVE.
Thanks Steen!
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*Not really. I would rather skewer my eyes with rusty knitting needles than have another baby. Wait, do knitting needles even rust? Well you know what I mean. I’m too old to be pregnant again. or deal with sleepless nights and diapers and wipes and sore boobs and cracked [...]

Awwwww…isn’t that cute!  Somebody got a sewing machine for her birthday!  Aren’t you a big girl, yes you are!
I think we can call this Girl Interrupted Couture, yes?  Want some chicken for under your bed?
Thanks Aki!
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Sam and Karen hail from none other than Craftastrophe.net, where they prove on an almost daily basis that handmade isn’t [...]